Page 40 of Flying

Daddy issues? Toxic masculinity? What are we talking here?

Delia:

Stop psychoanalyzing everyone. We’re not helping with the podcast.

Nessa:

Anonymously?

Lily:

You do that anyway

Nessa:

can’t prove it

Delia continuesto say River’s focus and determination when it comes to The Featherweight’s legacy has been impressive and it’s been pushing her to think about what she actually wants. She suggests I get him to more breweries and sustainable farm-to-table eateries, saying it was why she sent him here. It seems the Vermont trip I got him to go on really did help with his menu planning. That’s pretty cool to know, honestly.

Stef jumps in with how Lee & Seth have been pushing him to ease up on checking in so often about his dad’s care since Robert pays for Gary to provide nursing support. How River keeps putting everyone else first except himself. Apparently, Lee is a bit of a pushy friend within the guys: making Seth show up grumbling and all, angling the right questions at River, trying to make the people Stef loves part of his extended family.

Group Chat: Bad Bitches [Stef Santos Manolo, Lily Long, Delia Shane, Nessa Rabin]

Nessa:

Paying clients are about to start coming in, then I have to sort through these listener questions… unless anyone here wants some advice about sex and relationships?

Maybe someone who hasn’t been in a serious relationship in at least five years?

They talked moreabout River the last three hours than they have in nearly a decade, and honestly, I was starting to wonder if they were trying to sell me on dating him or encourage him to relax. Or both?

Nessa (voice text):

“Ouch! Delia! She knows we are being heavy handed, doesn’t she? You didn’t think this was subtle?” [Nessa unsent voice message]

Too bad Isaw the transcript. That settles it. It had the intended impact. Despite the voice in my ears and best attempts to breathe through, my mind drifts back to what is going on in my bathroom.

What is my heart trying to tell me?

I don’t know.

What is my heart asking me to see?

I DO NOT KNOW.

A soft drip of water rolls down my face before I can internally yell at the meditation app again. Great, so nervous that I’m sweating. Wait. Sweat doesn’t hit you, it rolls out of you.I think the dog is now crated?

Cracking one eye ever so slightly I find River standing over me. Searching through his duffel wearing only a towel. It sits low on his waist and seems in danger of falling, causing my heartbeat to pick up and my breath to hitch. I close my eyes again quickly, hoping he was too distracted to notice me. An internal war rages over willing the towel to not move or fall and reveal River to me in his full, naked glory. Maybe I can fake sleep if I keep my eyes closed? With the narration over, his laugh takes over my every sense causing goosebumps to prickle everywhere.

More water lands on me, and I can hear him shaking out his shaggy hair. River removes one of my earbuds and taunts me, “Wakey wakey, maid of dishonor.” His words are a whisper in my ear that reverberates down my body.

I return my earbuds to their case, and I look his way to see the towel has been swapped for a pair of black boxer briefs, fitted and if he turned a little further to the side I would get a quick glimpse of what he is packing. A white T-shirt comes over his head and floats down his back, and he steps into his gray sweatpants.

“Much better,” he sighs, and looking at me a little funny he sits down next to me on the side of the daybed slash couch.

twenty-eight

River

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