Page 27 of Don't You Dare Marry Me

Elia didn’t want to lose her either.

“Right.” Abagail sniffed a little, glancing up at the doorway, swearing once again that she saw Nicola flounce her way through it. But it was all in her head. She blew out a breath like she was blowing through a straw and picked up her coffee. “Well, I’m glad that’s settled.”

“Settled?” Elia laughed fully. “Oh no, this is just beginning.”

“Perfect,” Abagail mumbled into her cup before taking a sip. Just what she wanted, to spend hours upon hours trying to sort out her feelings and emotions just to share them with Elia so that she didn’t lose the only person in her life who had stuck by her side through thick and thin.

“Do you truly believe that you mistook deep love for a friend for romantic love?”

Abagail shrugged slightly. “It’s not like I have a whole lot of experience with romantic love.”

Elia canted her head to the side. “I just assumed you were aromantic.”

“What?” Abagail’s face pinched. “What the hell is that?”

“You’re not romantically attracted to people.”

“I have sex all the time. Probably more sex than you.” Abagail scrunched her nose, the memory of Nicola on her lap last night with the nipple clamps on already working to get her body ready for sex. She’d love another dose of that right about now. It’d be a great distraction from whatever the hell this was.

“I didn’t say sexually attracted.” Elia had that tone of voice like she was teaching a lesson to a student for the millionth time, a student who just couldn’t understand the concept. “I said romantically attracted. You don’t do romance, you never have. I can’t remember a time when you actually had a girlfriend, like a committed relationship with someone.”

Abagail’s brow furrowed. She also couldn’t remember a relationship she’d had that would fall into that category. It was why she’d taken to pursuing only short term relationships, typically with younger women, since they weren’t looking for long term commitment from her.

“Have you never thought about it like that?” Elia asked, settling her cup onto her knee.

“No.” Abagail shook her head and then shrugged after a few more seconds. “I just accepted that this is who I am and never really questioned it.”

Elia hummed acknowledgement. “That’s a privilege you’ve had, for certain. Your parents didn’t ever push you into a relationship like many others, and then they died fairly early so you didn’t have to worry about it. You have other passions that you’ve focused on, and you’ve been free and financially able to pursue them.”

Why did that sound like she was the most privileged person on the planet coming out of Elia’s mouth? It didn’t sit well with Abagail either. There was shame there, and she didn’t like it.

“I’m not sorry for who I am.”

“Nor should you be.” Elia looked at her directly. “I didn’t mean for you to be, just to recognize the privilege you’ve had. Many don’t.”

“You have it.”

“I do,” Elia agreed. “I’ve had a lot of privileges. Have you really not ever considered that you might be aromantic before though?”

Abagail shook her head slowly, that thought still settling in her body. But it wasn’t settling at all. “I don’t pay much attention to labels, you know that.”

Elia set her cup down. “I know you don’t. I have a book that you can read about it.”

“A book?” Abagail raised an eyebrow at her. “You have a book for everything, don’t you?”

Laughing, Elia waved her hand around the room. “Says the woman with a library most can only dream of having. And I’m an English teacher, of course I have a book. Do you want it or not?”

“Yes,” Abagail snapped quickly. She did want to see whatever this magic book said about her. Maybe she didn’t line up at all with what Elia was explaining. Or perhaps it was her to a T.

Elia whipped out her phone and airdropped Abagail’s phone with a link. “There. All yours. Let me know what you think.”

“Right.” Abagail stared down at the book and paused. It was going to take her a while to want to read that. First she needed to figure out exactly what Elia’s revelation meant for her. Because her world was off its axis right now. “I’m still sorry about November.”

“I know you are,” Elia answered. “And for the record, Abagail, I forgive you for what you did.”

Abagail melted. That was exactly what she’d needed to hear. That ten times over and more. “I do love you.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you,” Elia responded with her lips quirking upward slightly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

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