Page 86 of The Secrets We Built Together

"Oh, honey," she said. "You told him you loved him."

I nodded miserably. "And he hasn't said anything about it since. We're just pretending it never happened, but I can't stop thinking about it. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I've made him uncomfortable? What if our arrangement was working perfectly, and I ruined it by wanting more?"

"Has he pulled away?" Carol asked practically.

"No," I admitted. "If anything, he's been... sweeter. More attentive. But that might just be because he feels sorry for me."

"Trust me," Billie said with a laugh, "Xander Farrington doesn't do anything out of pity. If he's being sweet to you, it's because he wants to be."

"But what if—"

"Stop," Helen said firmly. "You're borrowing trouble. That man looks at you like you hung the moon and stars, and trust me, that's not something you want to take for granted."

"But I said it first," I protested. "What if he's not ready? What if he never will be?"

"Then you'll figure it out together," Martha said simply. "But you won't figure out anything by avoiding the conversation."

"I'm not avoiding it," I said weakly. "I'm just... waiting for the right moment."

"The right moment was a week ago when you said it the first time," Helen said with characteristic bluntness. "Every day you wait is another day you both spend walking on eggshells around something that should bring you joy."

By the time lunch ended, my head was spinning with all the new information, but the knot of anxiety in my chest had loosened slightly. These women had taken me in, shared their wisdom, their stories, their friendship. They'd listened to my fears without judgment and offered comfort without platitudes.

As we said our goodbyes, Helen pulled me into a surprising hug. "You're one of us now," she said. "Wednesday Lunch Club is family, and family sticks together. And family also doesn't let family waste time on foolish fears. Talk to that man."

"I will," I promised, touched by her fierceness.

Titus whined at my feet, and I laughed, bending down to scratch behind his ears. "I'll see you next week, buddy. Save some of that ham for later, okay?"

He licked my hand, which was gross but also strangely endearing. Who would have thought I'd end up bonding with the weirdest dog in town?

As I drove home, Helen's words echoed in my mind.Every day you wait is another day you both spend walking on eggshells around something that should bring you joy.

Maybe it was time to stop being afraid of my own feelings. Maybe it was time to find out if Xander felt the same way about me as I felt about him.

Maybe it was time to stop pretending my confession had never happened and start hoping it had meant something to both of us.

Chapter 30

Blake

Iwas a coward. Maybe we both were. The whispered confession I'd made in the fevered haze of exhaustion hung between us like a ghost neither of us wanted to acknowledge.I love you.Three words I'd breathed when I was half asleep, three words that had changed everything and nothing all at once.

We both knew we needed to talk about it, but neither of us seemed able to figure out how. Part of me was starting to think this strange limbo we'd fallen into was safer. If we never addressed what I'd said, then Xander wouldn't have to tell me he didn't feel the same way, and everything wouldn't get infinitely worse than it already was.

I'd seen Xander in the kitchen at around 2:00am when I was making up a bottle for Amelia. He'd offered to take over and let me get some sleep, and even though I was weirdly jealous of how awake he looked, I'd refused. The careful politeness in his voice, the way he'd avoided my eyes—it all felt like confirmation thatmy confession had shifted something between us. Something I wasn't sure we could shift back.

I had never been a morning person. In fact, Blake of a couple of weeks ago would have needed some kind of occult ritual for raising the dead to get out of bed at this time. But it was easy when it came to my beautiful little niece, even if more than slightly exhausting.

I stumbled out of my bedroom at 7:00am after dealing with a diaper of demon-like proportions to the smell of bacon in the cottage. Holding Amelia out at arm's length, I walked straight to Xander and exchanged the baby for the glorious giant cup of coffee that he was holding out for me.

"Rough night?"

"Rough morning. We have to be feeding this kid wrong because what just came out of her was the stuff of nightmares." I gulped down the hot coffee even as Xander protested that it was still hot. "It's okay, I lost all temperature-related feeling in my tongue years ago."

"Well, I've got breakfast just about ready, and I'll take the next baby duty shift so you can shower and do whatever you need to do."

"Thank you!" I gasped dramatically.

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