Page 46 of Draft Pick

I guess that had nothing to do with our circumstances but my own insecurities, so I tried to suck it up and stay focused.

I sensed the minute Cason entered the park. My eyes seemed to fly straight to him as he walked onto the grass, my greedy heart tripling in beat and my stomach erupting with butterflies as if the baby somehow knew he or she's daddy just walked onto the premises.

I know that was stupid and unlikely, but the hormones were in charge.

Why was he so good-looking? He had the power to make my lungs seize up, and my brain stop working. My eyes watered against my will.No, don't do that!I wouldn't let him see me crack. Think of this as a courtesy, nothing more.

Clearing my throat and stomping down the butterflies, I forced what I hoped was a pleasant but bland smile — like one I might offer the pizza delivery driver — and rose to greet him.

But his smile was warm and adoring and everything I remembered him to be, which immediately made me want to yell at him for burrowing into my heart when he'd had plans to dip.

"Hey Starlie," he said, producing a bouquet of grocery store flowers from behind his back and handing them to me with an uncertain expression. "I didn't know what you liked so I just got the ones that seemed the prettiest."

"I…" I didn't know what to say, but I dredged my manners from the abyss and murmured my thanks. "They're beautiful."

Was I moved that he brought flowers? Yes and no. If he thought flowers were going to — but before I could finish that thought, he said it first.

"Flowers don't make up for how I acted but I thought it might be a good start," he said.

The wind evaporated from my sails. How was I supposed to be salty when he was being so damn sweet?Remember, he's only being sweet because you're carrying his baby,not because he wants to be with you, that ugly little voice whispered in my ear, causing me to stiffen. I motioned to the bench, and he followed me as we sat down.

"Cason—"

"Can I go first?" He interrupted with an earnest expression, and I reluctantly nodded. Drawing a deep breath, he said, "I fucked up. I know. But if you give me a chance to show you that's not who I really am…I won't mess it up again."

"Why?"

My bald question took him by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Because it's kinda cliche to only want to work things out because I'm pregnant. This isn't the '50s. No one is going to shun me as a single mother if I don't have a man to make an honest woman out of me. I'd rather skip the whole, he's only with me because I'm pregnant, routine. You know? I'm good on my own."

He faltered — and I knew with a sinking heart he was only making this effort because of the baby, and that hurt. I wanted him to want me, not just his baby. Maybe that was unfair, but my feelings mattered, too.

I shook my head. "Cason, I appreciate the gesture — and the flowers — but we're not a good fit together. A baby won't change that fact."

"How do you know?"

It was my turn to hesitate with confusion. "How do I know what?"

"That we aren't a good fit? Because I remember something different."

I blushed. How dare he reference our sexual chemistry. That should've been off-limits — even if he was right. "If we were so good together, why'd you ghost me?" I said.

"It wasn't because I wasn't into you," he started, but he stopped, swearing under his breath with frustration. "It's complicated."

"Un-complicate it." I didn't have any sympathy. "Just say what you need to say. My feelings aren't an issue at this point. You've already hurt me. It's done and in the past. I'm more curious than anything else."

That wasn't quite true. It still hurt, but I needed to know why. It was probably stupid, and I should have let it go, but my stubborn pride wouldn't let me.

Cason sighed heavily, and his gaze shifted away. "I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid of people judging us," he said quietly.

I stiffened. "Judging us? Why?"

He looked miserable, and I wasn't above enjoying his discomfort. Maybe I truly was in my villain era. The Old Starlie would've bent over backward to make sure Cason was okay while ignoring my own feelings.

"No matter how I say it, I'm going to come out looking like an asshole and I'm afraid that will put us in the opposite direction of where we need to go."

I fixed Cason with a short look. "I already think you're an asshole so no worries there. How much worse can it get?"

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