Page 59 of Mine

She sighed. “You’ve known me for a few days.”

“And?”

“This is wild, Salt. It’s wild.”

I shrugged. “I’ve done wilder, I’m sure.” Which wasn’t a lie. Although, the way Pepper made me feel was definitely borderline crazy. The obsession was rooting deep, which meant it had the potential to become unhealthy.

But I wanted her. It was that, plain and simple. I wanted her to be mine.

“Well, I haven’t.”

“Always the good girl, hmm?” I asked.

That struck a nerve. Her expression pinched into a glare and she rolled over onto her back, her hair sprawling across the pillow. “I don’t like it, but it’s true.”

“Tell me,” I said. “Since I told you something about me.”

“You already know so much about me,” she said. “Way more than I know about you. But, fine. It was how I was raised. I grew up in a very small, conservative town outside of Nashville. My parents got married young, had me young, and I was expected to turn into something I wasn’t. Music is what saved me.”

My heart skipped a beat. “You too, huh?”

She paused, but then hummed. “Yeah,” she whispered. “Me too.”

“It’s the only reason I’m still here,” I said. “It means everything to me. I don’t even know if I’m good at it.”

“You are. You can’t doubt yourself like that. And even if you weren’t, you just said that it saved you. Why would you ever doubt its place in your life?”

My chest tightened and I stared at her for a moment. “Is this how you talk artists down?”

She gave a ruthless smile. “Yes. But I mean it. If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t be so concerned about dating you, because I wouldn’t feel like you belonged to Rosethorn. Which is a massive conflict of interest.”

I pressed my lips together. It made sense logically, although I still had a hard time accepting that I was good at music. I wasn’t sure that doubt would ever truly go away.

But, she was right, of course.

Music had saved me. I loved it. Regardless, I belonged to the mysterious internal melody that not only bound me to music, but to Pepper in a way, too.

“One day, I’ll write you a song,” I decided.

She shook her head and stifled a laugh. “About what? A bitter woman who’s missed out on everything?’

“No,” I said. “That’s not how I see you.”

“How do you see me?”

I raked my fingers through my hair. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“I suppose,” she said. “Although who knows. Maybe one day you'll write a song about how I ruined your life. And how you wish you never would've met me.”

“I don't think so,” I said. “I think, if anything, it could be the other way around. That you’ll hate me.”

I would never regret what happened between us over the last few days. Even if it had been a whirlwind, and my obsession was already spiraling out of control, I would cherish the moments we had together.

But, I knew what I was. I knew why my relationships always failed, and why everyone in my life always disappeared. Nancy and Beth were the only exceptions, although there was a very small voice inside my head that told me they would eventually leave one day, too.

Was that the curse my father had given me? The one I never seemed to be able to break? To just be nothing more than a cursed beast, bound to music and sex? To always hurt the ones I loved the most?

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I don’t know if I could ever hate you.”

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