Page 158 of Mine

What Jeff sent had pierced through both of us like a sharpened arrow. My chest ached because I knew how Jeff was. He always knew how to rip open a wound and pour vinegar on it.

“I wish I was there,” I choked out.

“No, you don’t,” he whispered. “I don’t smell good. And I cried like a baby. And accidentally broke a mirror and cut my hands.”

“Salt. Your hands?”

“I’m okay,” he said. “I’ll be okay.”

“I’m coming home to you tomorrow.”

“I’ll pick you up from the airport.”

“Yes,” I said. “Please. And please don’t listen to what Jeff said. He’s wrong, Salt. He’s so wrong about everything.”

“I will,” he said. “I promise.”

I could feel my heart finally starting to calm. I kicked off my shoes and flopped down at the end of the bed.

“Take off your clothes and makeup. Get ready for bed. Fall asleep with me,” he murmured.

“I think I’ll do just that.”

FORTY-THREE

SALT

My heart racedas I sat in the line for the airport. I’d already circled around three times, counting down the minutes until I saw her.

I pulled into an empty spot and looked up at the doors.

There she is.

Pepper walked out and ran straight for me.

I got out of the car quickly and met her in three long strides, lifting her up as her arms wound around my neck. I inhaled the scent of her, holding her tight.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed out.

“I am too,” I said.

“For what?” she asked as she leaned back.

“Well, for one, I ruined your trip. I promise that next time you leave for a few days, I won’t completely lose it.” I was still recovering from the whiplash of that fucking text message, the aftermath, and then the phone call.

The relief I’d felt had been immeasurable, but then I made a choice.

I put her down, but still kept her close, tipping her head up. Her eyes were red and I knew she was exhausted. We’d both fallen asleep on the phone last night, but I was certain we’d only slept three hours or so. Her flight back home was insanely early, but I was thankful she was standing here in front of me now.

I needed to tell her what I was feeling. Nancy and Beth had stitched me back together last night, but it made me realize just how much more work I still had to do.

I drew in a deep breath and then squared my shoulders. “Because of you, I’ve realized that I have been living with this feeling of being cursed for too long. And because of you, I want to be better. I want to do better.”

“Salt, you’re already more than good enough,” she said, her eyes searching mine.

“I still don’t feel it though. And I’m making the promise here and now that I’m going to change that,” I said. “I want my future to be with you. I want to wake up next to you, believing that even if you do leave my side, you’ll come back.”

“I will,” she said. “They can say whatever they want about us. I don't care if they say that I'm too old, or we're too different, or we're wrong for each other. I don't care if they say I'm cold, or I shouldn't have desires, or I should be professional. None of it matters when I'm with you, and I want that forever. I'm choosing you.”

---