Page 69 of Barely Breathing

“Everything.” His voice drops. “I can’t keep lying to her. Draakmar’s influence is pushing the memory fragments to the surface. There are parts from that night that I don’t even know, like what happened before I arrived and what she discovered in those records. I didn’t have time to watch what I was suppressing when I buried the memory. The wolves had the container and were already leaving the shipping yard. I tried to go after them, but I was too late. I spent months trying to figure out where they took it. Whatever was in that shipping container disappeared. We need Tamara’s full account.”

Hearing my name, I manage to blink open my eyes. The ceiling ripples above me. We’re no longer in the library but in what looks like an office and sitting room. A large metal shield hangs on the wall behind a desk. It’s not as dark here, but the candlelight still makes the shadows dance. When I try to peel myself off the leather, the room spins dangerously.

“Careful.” Costin appears beside me, his hand steadying my shoulder. “You’re all right. I’m here.”

I try to answer, but I croak.

“I’m here too,” Astrid appears behind him. She tries to push him aside to touch me. Costin doesn’t relinquish his place.

I want to tell them this isn’t a competition as I witness the stubborn set to both of their jaws.

“The transition back can be disorienting,” Costin says.

That’s an understatement.

I try to speak again and only grunt. I reach for my neck. The amulet is there. My skin feels tight under my ears and down my throat. I feel dried blood.

My throat is raw, like I really did just face Chester at the shipping yard instead of nine years ago. I again attempt to sit up, and Costin automatically helps me. He sits next to me, almost too close to my sore body.

“How long?” My voice comes out rough. I look down. My cardigan is stiff with dried blood. I hold my neck. “My throat…”

“A few hours.” Astrid stands over me, her posture rigid. “You’ve been screaming.”

“Do you know who we are?” Costin asks.

I realize they are watching to see if the experience has altered me. Both of them stay very still, waiting for my answer.

I can’t resist. I furrow my brow and look confused. “Castoffs?”

Astrid’s eyes widen, and she gives a soft gasp. I see magic flare against her fingers.

Costin arches a brow. “Very amusing.”

“Tamara!” Astrid scolds as she catches on a second later. The magic dissipates. “That is not funny, young lady.”

I start to laugh, but it hurts. I groan instead. “Oh, ow.”

Astrid lifts a goblet toward me. “Drink this.”

“I’m not tired.” I refuse to take it.

“It’s not that. It’ll help with the pain,” Astrid insists.

My ribs hurt when I breathe too deep, and the promise of relief is too much to pass up. I take the goblet.

“Drink,” my mother orders, gesturing her hand as if to tip the goblet toward me.

My hand lifts it to my lips. The bitter liquid burns as I swallow, but it instantly lessens the pain.

“What did you see?” she asks when I lower the goblet. “Tell us everything. In detail.”

When I speak, my voice is better. I tell them everything, every detail. It’s as clear as if it just happened.

“That bastard,” Astrid mutters under her breath when I mention Chester’s attack. Then, to Costin,she said, “You should have lost him at the bottom of the ocean.”

“I still might,” Costin adds.

“When I woke up at my desk the next morning, I didn’t remember any of it. I didn’t even remember coming in to work the night before.” I think back to that following morning. Everyone had been so disappointed in me, and the shame of it had followed me for years. My father never gave me another chance. “I thought I fell asleep on the job. Mabel was there yelling about a lost shipment. Since I was the shipping clerk, everyone assumed I mis-keyed the entry and sent the shipment to the bottom of the Atlantic.”

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