Page 4 of Jaded Red

“Red!” Capone slams his gavel on the scarred table dragging me out of this passion filled memory. “Want to fill us in on what the fuck is going on, brother? You look like shit.”

I shrug, holding back what I want to reveal. It's not time yet. If I have my way it’ll never be time and I’ll never reveal my secrets. Many of my brothers have thought the same thing and they opened up. Not me though. I’ve learned how to control my emotions and after all the shit I went through in prison and when I got out, I don’t speak of my past. It’s how I cope.

“Prez, I’m looking into Kensi’s friend's disappearance.” My face flames red at the thoughts of the things Nadia and I did, but I do what I can to control my emotions. Now that I have a name to my dirty fantasies, I let it roll through my mind, loving the way her name sounds.

“Do you have any news?” Capone asks.

I shake my head. “Only she’s been missing for a few months. I think it was Lattimer. All signs point to him but he’s covering his tracks.” I snap my mouth shut so I don’t say anything else, but Blayze picks up on it.

“You look like you want to say something else.” Blayze leads and I follow.

“I figured out how she’s connected to the club besides Kensi’s friend. Which is why I don’t think her missing is random. It was planned.” I pause before sending my brothers into an uproar. “Nadia is Nolan Ryan’s little sister. One his father had and abandoned. He kept her hidden from the world.” As I predicted, everyone starts shouting and talking over each other causingchaos. Capone slams his gavel on the table while releasing a shrill whistle, silencing the room. Everyone shuts the hell up and gives Capone their attention.

“Red, are you sure?” Capone asks.

I nod in confirmation. “One hundred percent positive, Prez. She is supposed to be protected by Krimson, her crew and the Savage Saints MC. Here’s the kicker though, Krimson might have an idea she exists, but Nolan doesn’t.”

Capone tightens his grip on his ivory gavel, his jaw ticking. “Red, see what you can dig up on their father. Anything you can find will be useful. I’ll be making a phone call to Krimson and Kayne. If shit goes down, we might have visitors in the near future. Trigger, have the prospects clean shit up. Tiny, Dagger and Torch get the patch bunnies in line and make sure they understand their place here. Get them to clean out all our spare rooms. Derange, Blayze and I will get the Ol’ Ladies on board and have them do the shopping in preparation.” Capone slams his gavel on the table, dismissing us.

I’m the first one out the door and in my sanctuary. I take a deep breath and sit at my computers, searching for anything I can find on Nadia, Nolan, their piece of shit father and anything else I can get my hands on. I’m obsessed and not afraid to admit it. Nadia wormed her way into my heart and under my skin. I haven’t felt anything since Nadia came on to me at the bar. I don’t know how many times I’ve gone back in the last few months, hoping she’s there but disappointed when she isn’t. I’d blame her for all these emotions I was feeling when she didn’t show, but in reality, I let her pull me in. I let her make me feel again and the time we had together are memories I want to cherish and not tarnish with my past. I’m locking the past away and focusing on finding Nadia.

Several hours or possibly days later, a loud knock on my door draws my focus back to the real world and out of the dark web.There is some sick, twisted shit out there I found trying to find Nadia and Nolan’s father. From what I’ve discovered, they’re better off without him.

Capone pops his head in and I don’t look his way. Codes and images flash across my three monitors. Every once in a while, I’ll check the camera’s security feeds above my head or use the bathroom but I don’t stop searching for Nadia. I can’t.

“Red, did you hear me?” Capone asks.

I shake my head but don’t stop what I’m doing. I’m so close my fingertips are buzzing as they fly across the keyboard. “No, what’d you say, Prez?’

“When’s the last time you ate or slept?” The concern in his voice makes me pause and think.

“Right before Church, why?” I respond. Suddenly my chair spins around and I almost fall on my ass. “What the fuck?” I shout, righting myself.

Capone gets right in my face. His black eyes are screaming murder. “Church was three fucking days ago, Red. What the fuck is going on?”

My eyes widen in surprise. “No, it wasn’t. It was like three hours ago.” I argue.

“No. It was three days ago. I gave you your space and privacy but now it’s time to come clean. Why are you so obsessed with finding Nadia? I haven’t seen you like this since you first came here looking for those men who sent you to prison. I left it alone then, but not anymore. What’s going on, Red?” Capone takes a seat in the other chair and won’t let me turn back to my sanctuary. A place I can get lost in for days and it keeps my memories from surfacing. He’s really making me do this.

“I…” I start then stop. Taking a deep breath, I exhale. “I know Nadia.” I pause. Capone opens his mouth then shuts it, knowing I have more to say.

My face flames red. “I was sleeping with her for the past few months before she went missing. I didn’t know who she was. Nadia approached me at Maggie’s Bar and we hit it off. We’d meet every few days at a hotel. We didn’t know each other. I didn’t even know her name. When Nadia didn’t show up the last time, I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t have any info on her. I chalked it up to her bored with my inexperience and locked it away like I do with all my feelings. The only thing is, she won’t stay put. I’m feeling something for her I haven’t felt since Tanya. I’m not capable of feeling anything or so the shrinks told me. When she hit on me and my body responded, it freaked me out but I threw caution to the wind and went with her. Then I was addicted and kept meeting her. Guilt surrounds me but I couldn’t give Nadia up, even if I’m not worth it.”

It feels fantastic getting all of that off my shoulders. I release a deep breath waiting for Capone to respond. As he processes everything, I sit on pins and needles waiting for my punishment I’m sure he’s going to give me. It’s what I deserve after betraying Tanya and having sex with someone after I swore I never would when Tanya died.

“When you’re ready, you need to tell us what happened with Tanya and what you plan on doing when you find Nadia. I think this is connected somehow.” Capone motions to Nadia’s picture up on my screen.

“I’m ready.” I nod my head. I puff out my lips, anxiety crawling its way up my neck.

Capone leaves my communications room and I send a mass text to all my brothers. As soon as I hit send, my computer beeps a warning. It’s found something on Nadia. An email from Kensi’s dad, Sheriff Donovan, pops up. He has been working with me, looking for Nadia behind the scenes. Using his resources through the databases at his disposal to sift through cameras I can’t get access to.

I open the email. “Holy shit!” I whisper, staring at Nadia’s photo Sheriff Donovan sent as an attachment. His email states this was sent to his personal email with a warning that if he doesn’t back off from finding Nadia, they’re going to kill her and then come after Kensi. Sherrif Donovan asked me to track where it came from since I have the means to do it without getting caught.

I quickly run a code on the email and after fifteen minutes, I get a ping and the location where it came from. It came from a strip club called Slamming Joint in Studio City. My mouth turns dry reading the name of the strip club and I know this was meant for me to find.

Chapter Three

Nadia

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