Page 46 of Fit for Love

“Bubba!”Dottie shouts giddily.

She flies into his arms, and he lifts her beekeeper-net-like veil and gives her a kiss that reminds me of the deer in rut.

When they eventually stop the PDA, Dottie introduces Bubba as her boyfriend—as though I couldn’t have guessed that part.

“Your cabin’s waitin’ for ya.”Bubba gestures at the cabin that’s nearer the water.“Why don’t you go check it out while Dottie and I go on a pleasure ride?"

“Sure.”Pleasure ride?Please, for the love of my libido, spare me the details.

Dottie thrusts a walkie-talkie into my hands, instructs me to call if I need anything, and then they sprint toward the pier like two horny teens.And I’m not talking the deer variety.

Hopping into the boat I just rode in, they torpedo away.

“What the fuck?”says a familiar voice from the doorway of the more inland cabin.

No.

Can’t be.

This has to be a swamp-induced hallucination, like when people see fairies in this kind of environment, or—given that we’re in Florida—the Skunk Ape.

“What the fuck right back at you,” I say to Ashton—because that’s whom I see, wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt that exposes way too many of his perfectly defined muscles.

Unlike me, he doesn’t seem to be covered with mosquito bites.Which tracks.They probably avoid evil.

“Seriously, what are you doing here?”Ashton demands.“And where did they just take that boat?”

“I’m on a tour, which I assume is whatyou’redoing.And Bubba said they’re going on a pleasure ride.”I surreptitiously rub my eyes, but Ashton is still there afterward.

“Pleasure ride?What a load of bullshit.He told me he was going to propose to his girlfriend today—but I didn’t realize he’d need to strand me here to do so.”

“Strand us.”I take the walkie-talkie and press the push-to-talk button.“Hey, Dottie, I need you to come back.There’s been a misunderstanding.”

No one replies.

I press the button again.“Dottie, this is not a joke.Come back immediately.”

“I think that thing is dead,” Ashton says.

Fuck.I’m afraid he’s right.There’s no sign of a charge left in the stupid device.

I pull out my phone.

Double fuck.Zero bars.

“Can you fix this?”I thrust the walkie-talkie into Ashton’s hands.

He turns it around and opens the battery compartment.“Do you have two AA batteries?”

“Only back in New York.”It’s what powers my vibrator—a device I’ve missed dearly on this trip, and it’s all his fault.

Ashton hands the walkie-talkie back.“Sounds like we have to wait for the lovebirds to get back.”

“No.Fuck that.”I run toward the boat they left behind.

“What’s the idea?”he asks from behind me.“You’re going to steal their boat?”

“Borrow,” I throw over my shoulder.

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