Page 61 of You Will Never Be Me

I can only shake my head. Ben stays there for a few seconds, taking me in, his face completely devoid of any affection. Nothing but the detached look of a hunter wondering how best to cut open the carcass of his latest catch. Then he says, “If I find out that you’ve been endangering our family, Aspen? You’ll be on your own.” He turns and stalks off.

I’m shaking. My legs give out from under me, and I slide to the floor. For a few moments back there, I was convinced that I’m not the only one in this house who’s capable ofmurder.

28

As I walk through theimpressive lobby of the office building, I scroll through my inbox. There are a lot of emails. Many of them begin: “We regret to inform you that, due to recent events, we will be terminating our partnership agreement…” Even more of them begin: “You are a lying fake murdering bitch you better watch your back…” Followers on TikTok: eight million, though anyone would be hard-pressed to call them fans. What do you call people who hate-follow you? Trolls? Stalkers?

The receptionist tells me that Prasad, Carey, and Associates is located on the twenty-second floor. I pretend not to notice the judgmental look on her face as I head for the elevators. I can’t stop picking at my fingernails as the elevator goes up. At least the receptionist here is more professional. She didn’t even bat an eyelid when I told her my name. I’m taken to a meeting room and givena glass of water. I’m just about to take a sip when Helena Carey walks in.

“Aspen?” she says, and her voice is somehow soothing and yet firm. The kind of voice that makes you immediately trust her. She is a blonde woman in her midforties, stunningly beautiful, in a silver skirt suit that looks like it was designed specifically for her. “Hi, I’m Helena. Nice to meet you.”

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I say nervously. I’m a successful businesswoman myself, but the kind of success that Helena has is something else entirely, and I don’t know how to present myself to someone as intellectual as her.

“Of course. I’ve been following your case. It’s quite something.” She settles into the chair adjacent to mine and folds her hands over her lap, giving me her full attention. “Now, tell me everything.”

I came prepared, of course. I rehearsed what I could tell her—went through every detail until I was sure what I could and could not say. “Well, my friend Meredith died, and everyone thinks I did it,” I begin. I tell Helena a lot more things than I told the detectives. I tell her how bad the fight with Meredith really was; that it wasn’t just a minor disagreement; that it was a screaming fight—the kind that left both of us destroyed. I tell her how hard it was for me afterward to have that Meredith-shaped hole in my life, an open wound that is still seeping blood. I tell her everything except the one crucial fact about me killing Meredith. It goes without saying, of course, that I also leave out the part about Meredith stealing Elea’s iPad.

Helena listens without saying anything, nodding here and there but otherwise showing no reaction. When I’m finally done speaking, she says, “Well, that is certainly a lot.” She considers mefor a bit, then says, “My retainer is two thousand dollars. My hourly rate is eight hundred dollars. And here is what you will get from me in return: I will be your champion. It will be a bloodbath, and you’re going to want a fighter, and that’s who I am. I don’t like to fight dirty, but if I have to, I will.”

“I want to work with you,” I say quickly.

She smiles. “Good. I want to work with you too. Alright, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk strategy. Do you have any idea how Meredith could have gotten access to your personal videos?”

My mouth goes dry, and I shake my head.

Helena taps her chin with a manicured finger. “Are your photos and videos uploaded to a cloud?”

“Yes.”

“Change the password.”

“I did that already.”

“Set up a two-step authentication for everything. I’ll have the team look into how Meredith got ahold of it. On your end, what you need to do is damage control. You need to get your followers on your side. You stopped posting two days ago. That’s not good.”

“That was when Tanya’s video came out. The one where I—” I grimace.

“Where you faked a morning routine video,” Helena says. Ouch. “Right. We are going to use this to our advantage.”

“How?”

“Lean into it. Release more videos that show the reality of your life. Behind-the-scenes videos. People love those.”

“But they’re going to hate me!” I cry, wondering if I’ve made a mistake hiring Helena after all.

“They won’t, because you’re going to be talking to them, andyou’re going to be real and vulnerable and, above all, authentic. You’ll tell them about how difficult it is to be a momfluencer. Talk about how everyone sets such unrealistic standards that you feel like a failure. You’re always messing up, you’re depressed, anxious—everybody is depressed and anxious; they’ll relate to you. One of your daughters has diabetes, right?”

I nod. “Noemie, yes.”

“Talk about that. The burden of having to earn enough to pay for her healthcare. I assume you’re paying out of pocket?”

I nod again.

“Have Noemie be in the shot with you. Appeal to the sympathy of your fellow mothers. You know how to do that.”

I stare at her, open-mouthed. The woman is a magician. Holy shit. “What do I say about Meredith?”

“Say nothing about Meredith. This is about you shedding light on the industry. It’s about you fighting for authenticity. Let me handle the subject of Meredith. Got it?”

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