Page 29 of Well, That Was Unexpected

“Um, just—I think you might’ve sent Sharlot the wrong itinerary? Hers looks the same as mine.”

“Ah yes. The lovely Sharlot.” Fauzi nods and smiles at her. “Yeah, I thought it would be prudent to pair you kids up for all the interviews. You’re welcome.”

Papa is staring so hard at me I can feel his eyeballs straining inside his head. Fauzi doesn’t know that Sharlot is my fake girlfriend. Of course he doesn’t. And because of it, he thinks he’s done us a favor by making sure we’ve got as much time together as possible. Ha. Kill me now. I don’t even want to tell Eighth Aunt because she might have him fired, and it’s not his fault.

“I just feel bad that Sharlot’s first visit to Bali is going to be filled with all these interviews. Maybe I can do them on my own so she can, like, enjoy Bali?”

Sharlot looks surprised by that, which is both nice and annoying, ’cause, man, how low is her opinion of me?

“No worries, my homie,” Fauzi says. “Day two of youritineraries is all about exploring Bali. You kids are going to explore the shit out of this island.” He laughs like he’s just said something hilarious.

My stomach turns and I glance down at my tablet again. Day two. Oh my god. White water rafting. Monkey temple. Island temple in the middle of the sea. Beachside dinner. Okay, that last one doesn’t sound so bad. But the rest…

I mean, they sound pretty cool too, but not with Sharlot, who’s looking equally horrified at the idea of traversing Bali withme.

“The journos are really looking forward to these interviews,” Fauzi says. “They can’t wait to meet the girl who stole our little prince’s heart.” With that, he turns back to Papa, who for his part gives me one last meaningful stare. I get it, Pa. Don’t let the world think I’m into gnomes and badgers, yeah.

I turn to Sharlot, who’s just cracked open the minibar and taken out an icy bottle of sparkling water.

She smiles. Or is it…a frown? “I guess I won’t be staying out of your hair after all,” she says.

Bali is an island of the gods. Even alongside the highway, there are stone statues of creatures with bulging eyes and lolling tongues with fresh flowers on their ears and around their necks and a black-and-white-checked cloth around their waists. Their facial features are grotesque, and yet the effect is somehow beautiful and soothing.

I take photo after photo and send them to Michie. The one good thing about meeting George is that Mama has returned me my phone and I’ve filled Michie in on the mess that is now my life. I even managed to grit my teeth through all the messages from Bradley, who was understandably concerned after my cryptic “save me” message. I’d replied, “Never mind, ha-ha,” and then closed that message thread, unable to bear the humiliation of talking to Bradley. God, I feel so awful about how I’ve left things with him. Honestly, is there a more decent guy on the face of this planet than Bradley? Who else could remain so nice and caring toward somebody who dumped them out of the blue andthen ghosted them without any explanation? I should give him one, I owe him that much at least, but the thought of it is enough to make everything inside me shrivel up into a squeaking mess.

Of course, Michie finds everything hilarious instead of frustrating.

Sharlot [1:03PM]:Look at these cool statues

Michie [1:04PM]:Giiiirl. I am SO jealous right now!

Sharlot [1:04PM]:Ugh, don’t be. I’m stuck in a limo minivan with my fake boyfriend and his family. It is tres awkward

Michie [1:05PM]:You mean your billionaire boyfriend? (Money emoji) (Dancing emoji) Sugar daddyyy!

Sharlot [1:05PM]:Thank you for being a sympathetic friend and also setting the feminist movement back twenty years

Michie [1:06PM]:Lol! Any time

Sharlot [1:07PM]:I wonder if the driver of the limovan is retired military too.

Michie [1:07PM]:I bet he is. Is he carrying an uzi? I bet he is.

Sharlot [1:08PM]:Very funny.

But I crane my neck to see if there are indeed any weapons on the driver. There aren’t. This is what I get for humoring Michie and her ridiculous ideas.

The Alphard minivan turns off the main road onto side streets that become increasingly narrow, to the point where the driver has to maneuver the limo this way and that to fit around some of the turns. This can’t be right. We’ve gone back in time and have found ourselves in a sleepy village. There can’t be a hotel big enough to hold an event with thousands of guests here.

We turn down one last side alley, a narrow passageway flanked by sweeping thin bamboos that curve into a tunnel. I’ve never seen anything more magical. It feels like we’re on our way to fairyland. And then the green tunnel ends, and we’re out in bright sunlight and the hotel appears before us in all its majestic glory. My mouth drops open.

I don’t know how to describe the Grand Hotel Uluwatu. It’s exactly as its name describes, for one. We’re dropped off at the vast lobby, and I hop out and stare and stare and stare at the beauty around me. There are cascading waterfalls everywhere, and a never-ending mirror pond with vibrant orange and gold koi gliding underneath bowls of jasmine and candles. The lobby is a giant dome overlooking an impressive cliff, along which the resort has been built, with grand sweeping steps leading to a pristine beach below. The walls are decorated with huge carvings—tropical flowers and animals in a gorgeous tableau, and here and there are the same guardian statues carved out of stone and decorated with fresh, colorful flowers. Despite everything that’s happened, despite the very reason we’re here, I feel at peace. Iexhale, my muscles relaxing. It’s impossible to feel anything but happy and soothed in this place.

“Wow, this place is something else, huh?” Mama says.

For a moment, I’m tempted to do my usual surly thing and shrug, but I nod instead. Like I said, it’s impossible to feel anything but soothed here. Kiki looks as amazed as I am, which makes me feel better; here’s something that even my annoyingly worldly cousin is impressed by. As soon as she hops out of the car, Eleanor takes Kiki’s hand and pulls her deeper into the lobby, pointing out various features to her. I can’t help but smile. It’s kind of sweet how the two of them have glommed on to each other. Unlike me and my supposed boyfriend.

I turn to look for George and find him helping his elderly grandmother out of the car. Oh crap. I take a hesitant step forward, unsure of what to do to help but feeling like I definitely should be offering some help. Once out of the car, she looks up and gives George a smile full of unabashed love, and he leans down and kisses her temple. I look away, feeling embarrassed, as though I’d intruded on a private moment.

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