Page 109 of Atmosphere

“I don’t know,” Joan said. “She’s got some pretty great moves herself.”

“Great,” Vanessa said. “I’ll dance on hers, then.”

Vanessa walked toward the bed, turned the blanket down.

“You aren’t worried what people will think?” Joan asked as they got into bed. “The two of us there together?”

Vanessa turned out the light and Joan moved toward the center of the bed. Vanessa’s arm was tucked in the crook of Joan’s neck.

“Plenty of women bring friends to weddings,” Vanessa said. “It’s not like we’re going to slow dance with your head on my shoulder.”

Joan did not say anything for a moment. And then: “It’s not fair,” she said, finally. “That part is not fair.”

“No, honey,” Vanessa said. “It isn’t.”

Later, before they fell asleep, Joan said, “Happiness is so hard to come by. I don’t understand why anyone would begrudge anyone else for managing to find some of it.”

“That’s because you’re too good for the world you love so much,” Vanessa said.


Frances was the flower girl.Daniel’s friend Robert held the rings. Vanessa wore the one dress she owned. It was a navy blue shift that she wore under a blazer, with a pair of loafers.

Joan stood at Barbara’s side, quietly holding her and Barbara’s flowers. When the preacher was speaking about love not being boastful, Joan’s heart seized. She looked at Vanessa in the second-to-last row, and smiled as she caught her gaze.

As Daniel and Barbara made their vows, Joan smiled at Vanessa, hoping that Vanessa understood what Joan’s smile was trying to say.

I would promise you all of this, too.


During the reception, Joan satnext to Vanessa at the table. Frances was on her other side. Joan’s parents were across from them. As the waiters came around with wine, Joan saw her father kiss her mother on the temple. How had she not seen it before? Been taken in by it? Her parents’ love story.

“Introducing,” the bandleader said, “Mr. and Mrs. Davenport!”

Barbara and Daniel came out, and Joan could see that Barbara had changed from her princess-style wedding dress into a sleeker long-sleeved lace gown.

“Mom looks beautiful,” Frances said.

“Yes, she does,” Joan said.

“You two look so much alike,” Vanessa whispered into Joan’s ear. Joan’s chest flushed.

Barbara beamed as she stood at the center of the dance floor with Daniel. She had landed one of the most notable bachelors in town, she’d been able to quit her job and become a housewife, she was getting the big house, the country club membership. Of course she was happy.

This was Barbara’s low-Earth orbit, Joan realized.

But just as Daniel pulled Barbara toward him, Joan saw something else pass across Barbara’s face. It was a look she’d never seen in Barb before, but it was easy enough to recognize: she loved him. Daniel smiled as he put his cheek to hers, and Joan could see that he loved her, too.

Joan closed her eyes, flooded with joy. She looked at Vanessa, who clearly could see it, too.

“I hate him,” Frances said.

“What?” Joan asked.

“He’s such a dork. And I hate him.”

“Frances!” Joan’s mother said, as she shook her head. “My dear, we don’t say such things.”