Page 108 of Atmosphere

Joan was confused. Because while the change of pace was nice, this person standing in front of her wasn’t really Barbara.

“Well, um, thank you,” Joan said.

“I think I forget sometimes,” Barbara said. “That your life is different than mine. It must be very hard seeing so many happy couples while you are on your own. You deserve to have a great night.”

Never mind. She was still Barbara.

—

On the drive home, despiteknowing it was an absurd fantasy, Joan kept picturing Vanessa asking her to dance at Barbara’s wedding.

Joan would say yes. And it would be a fast song when they stood up, but by the time they got to the floor, it would have changed to a slow song. So Vanessa would pull Joan close, and they would sway. And Joan would lead. And Vanessa would say something like “I think your parents like me,” and Joan would say, “I think so, too.” And they would know that everything that was happening that day could happen for them, too.

When Joan pulled up to Vanessa’s house, she resolved not to ask her. It was not a smart thing to do. To go to a wedding together. Theycouldn’t.

—

But then as they werebrushing their teeth, Joan recounted her day to Vanessa, and it just came out.

“You asked to bring me?” Vanessa said, spitting her toothpaste into the sink.

“I didn’t say your name, just asked to bring a friend. It went about as well as you’d expect.”

Vanessa considered this, but did not say anything.

“I’m not asking you to go,” Joan said. “I know we can’t attract that much attention. I also know that meeting my family isn’t high on your list of priorities, and I completely understand it.”

Vanessa wiped her face with a hand towel and then turned and leaned against the counter.

“I do sometimes wonder,” Vanessa said. “What your mother is like.”

Joan laughed. “She’s not one to really wonder about, honestly. She’s pretty…expected. A little vanilla, even—but in a very, very nice way.”

“Oh, if anyone ever said that about me, I’d murder them.”

“Yes, I know, but my mother would not be offended by me saying that. And that should tell you everything.”

“Well, now I have to meet this milquetoast woman.”

“I didn’t say she was milquetoast! She’s just a person who does what society expects of her in a way that makes it look easy. I don’t think she’s milquetoast at all.”

“Well, I’m still curious. About her and your math-teacher dad.”

Joan laughed.

“I think we should go,” Vanessa said.

Joan looked at her. “Are you serious?”

“Do I think it’s a particularly smart thing to do? No, I don’t,” she said. Then her eyes lit up. “But, fuck your sister. And I want to.”

Joan laughed. She could not quite wrap her head around the moment in front of her.

“Frances will be there for a lot of the night, too, right?” Vanessa asked.

“Yeah,” Joan said. “She will be.”

“So even better. She can dance standing on my feet.”

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