Page 116 of Nobody in Particular

Molly, Eleanor, and Danni draw closer to me from all sides. It’s a somewhat protective action. As for me, I let out another laugh, one that turns into more of a cackle. “William,” I say, the laugh turning into a sneer. “I have truly never given less of a damn what you think of me.”

I don’t expect him to reply to that, and he doesn’t. Truthfully, I think he’s too gobsmacked to get a word out if he wanted to. Wordlessly, I turn on my heel and lead the girls out of the room. The staircase to the ballroom is accessible from the nearby hallway, so we hurry down it, pour into the ballroom, and pull the heavy door shut as quietly as we can.

“Your parents are going to murder you,” Molly cries, whirling to face me as soon as we’re safe. “There’s impulsive, and then there’s that.”

“Wasit impulsive?” Danni asks. “That speech felt awfully prepared.”

“Did you guys see that blond reporter in the front?” Eleanor asks, throwing herself on one of the rows of seats. The same seats I used to sit on while Danni rehearsed, back when we first started dating. “I thought she was gonna pass out when Rose said she’s a lesbian.”

“I don’t remember anything,” Molly says, sitting next to her. “I think I dissociated.”

“Oh, she for sure was. She was like,Whaaaat?”

“Rose?” Danni asks. She’s not sitting. Rather, she’s hovering by the piano, watching me. I walk over to the windows and peek through the curtains. The crowd by the school gates is bigger than it was before. I wonder, how long until the news gets out?

It probably already is, I realize. It may have even been filmed live.

There’s no going back now.

I beam and turn back to face the others. “That felt incredible,” I say.

Danni visibly relaxes, though Molly still seems to think I’m having a nervous breakdown.

“You know this could go either way, right?” she asks. “There’s a chance they’ll let you stay, but the diocese…”

“You think they might not want to place a crown on a lesbian’s head?” I ask, feigning horror. “Why didn’t anyone warn me? This changes everything.”

Danni laughs, and I swirl to face her, then scoop her up into a hug. “Oh, my god,” she giggles as I spin her around. “You’re really happy.”

I start laughing again. Molly now no longer seems to suspect I’m having a breakdown. Rather, she seems to have grown quite sure of it. She looks to Danni for assistance, but Danni seems enraptured by me.

“Can you imagine if they let you stay?” she asks.

“They won’t,” says Molly.

“They might,” says Eleanor.

“Butimagine,” Danni says. “Like, really think about it. Think of what it would mean for a place like Henland to have a lesbian for aqueen. There are so many people in this country that would change everything for. No offense to your uncle, but he’s more of the same. Even if you were no good at the job, though, justhavingyou there would make a hell of a statement. But youwouldbe good. Even if you hardly have any power, and it’s only charities, and causes, and knighting the odd person or whatever, I want someone like you up there making those choices. Because you understand what it means to be on the outside over something you have no control over. There are people who need you, the way you are.”

I stare at her. Not because her words don’t make sense. But because it never occurred to me that any part of me would make me inherently more suited to being the monarch than my uncle. I’m so used to thinking of myself in terms of my flaws. Yet here she is, reframing my very existence as an inherent strength.

I didn’t think it was possible to love her more, but every day, every hour, she finds a way. Sometimes—miraculously—she even manages to make me like myself, too.

“Danni, is your mom still waiting for you in your room?” Eleanor asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“Are you going to tell her about the two of you?”

Danni looks to me. “I… don’t know.”

I didn’t bring up my relationship with Danni to the reporters because I didn’t want to speak for her. Not without consulting her first, at the very least. After the week she’s had, it would not surprise me if she’s had enough of the spotlight to last her a lifetime.

“Do you want to?” I ask her.

She takes a step forward, eager and hopeful. “Wait, can I?”

I shake my head and shrug. “There’s no reason not to. We can tell anybody you want to tell.”

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