Page 97 of If This Gets Out

“Right.” She sniffs. “I’m sorry, this just reminds me ofyour dad. You’re so like him these days, it scares me sometimes.”

“How am I like Dad?”

“I thought I’d made it clear to both of you that you could talk to me aboutanything,but you both kept huge secrets from me, and I don’t know why.”

Whoa.

It sounds like she just equated me being bi with him cheating on her.

“Listen, Zach, I’m really tired and I’m worried I’m messing this up. So I think I’m going to go, can we talk about this later?”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“I love you so much, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. We’ll talk later.”

“All right, bye.”

She hangs up.

That wasn’t how I was expecting it to go. At all. I sit still, totally numb.

I can’t believe she said I’m like Dad.

I didn’t even get to tell her about Ruben. Dating him is one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me. Maybe that’s for the best, though, given her reaction. Almost every article I read about coming out online mentions that it’s a bad idea to come out by introducing your parents to your partner. It’s better to tell them about your sexuality, and then talk about your partner once the dust has settled.

Suddenly, everything catches up to me, and my eyes fill with tears. I never thought she’d say I’m like Dad and mean it, but I guess she thinks that now. I’m just like him. Just another guy who kept things from her.

Ruben asked me to message him as soon as it was done, so I send him a text.

Hey, it’s done.

How’d it go?

Could’ve been better honestly.

Oh. Do you want to talk about it?

If you’re free, yeah.

A few moments later, I hear a knock on my door. I open it, and let Ruben in.

“So, it was rough?” he asks, as I close the door behind him.

“Yep.”

“Hey, have you been crying?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Oh, Zach.”

He moves in close, and hugs me. I squeeze him, gripping the soft material of his shirt. I don’t want to let him go.

“I’m so sorry it didn’t go the way you were hoping,” he says. “It’ll get better, I promise.”

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