Page 25 of Perfect on Paper

And it was only following this that Brooke and Jaz began to feel comfortable enough around each other again to debrief on the whole kissing situation. And that’s when they found out.

“It was almost like the locker sabotaged us,” Brooke had raged the next time we caught up. “I understand whoever answers the letters gets a lot of questions every week, but would youreallynot catch on that Jaz and I were talking about each other?”

“I don’t know,” I’d said, swallowing. “Maybe they were distracted.”

“Maybe,” Brooke had said, but she’d glowered.

The rest of the week I had guilt nightmares every night, from Brooke finding out I was behind the locker and never speaking to me again, to Jaz sobbing to me in the girl’s bathroom that she’d lost the love of her life.

As awful as this was, as much as Ihatedwhat I knew I was about to hear, I had to make up for what I’d done lastyear. This time, I was going to be supportive. I was going to be happy for Brooke. I was going to have her back in this. Even if it made my insides rot. I just had to make it through this phone call, then I could cry as much as I needed to.

As soon as she picked up the phone, Brooke started babbling. “Okay, so, Ray came over and we were working on the essay and it was all casual and fine and then Mom and Dad invited her to stay for dinner, so she did, and they got along super well and she was being really nice and she’s actually really funny which I wasnotexpecting, then we hung out for a while after and we were looking at something on my phone and she, holy shit, Darcy, sheasked me out.”

I’d braced, I’d braced, I’d braced, but I still stumbled. Gut shot. She mistook my gasp for a gasp of joy. “Iknow,” she said. “And I said yes! We got along weirdly well outside of school, and it was really sweet and generous of her to help me with my essay, don’t you think? And then she said she’s been into me for ages now, and she always catches herself staring at me in Q and Q Club and council meetings, and haveyounoticed her staring at me? Because I never did, and now I’m wondering if I’m just oblivious, or what.”

Talk. Speak.“Um, I’m not sure.”Speak happier than that.“But wow, that’s incredible!”

“You think so? I think it might be! I didn’t see this coming, I mean,Ray.I thought shehatedme. Darcy, hanging out with her wasnice,can you imagine?”

Oh, I could imagine. I didn’twant to,but I could, and, oh god, now it was burned into my brain and I couldn’t stop thinking about them laughing and touching fingertips and sitting in each other’s personal space. How could this happen? WithRaina? Of all the people I could’ve seen as a threat… “Are you, like, together now?”

“Don’t jinx it. I don’t know what’s going to happen now, I just needed to tell you.”

Okay. Well, they weren’t together.

But who knew how long it would stay that way for?

So I swallowed the sob that lurked somewhere in my throat, took a deep breath, and forced a smile. “Where are you guys going?”

All I knew was if they fizzled out, it wasn’t going to be because of me.

Not this time.

Brooke was a veritable bundle of excitement and sparkles the next day. She laughed—too loudly—at everything, floated around the halls, and grinned at everyone who walked past.

My own feet had never felt quite so heavy.

“She was really nice to my mom, and Momlovesthat she does so many extracurricular things,” Brooke had gushed to me in homeroom.

“Did you know how smart Ray is? I mean, obviously she’s smart, but her grasp on language is just mind-blowing,” Brooke had whispered while I tried to take notes in math.

“I thought we were going to kiss when she said good-bye, but then we chickened out,” Brooke had recounted for the fourth time as we walked to history.

Every time I’d put on a tight smile, and “hmm”ed and “wow”ed when appropriate, all while hoping my agony wasn’t written on my face. It was getting to be such torture to be around her, and to know her lit-up face, and giggles, and swinging feet were caused by Ray, and not me, I was grateful to get a text from Brougham to meet me in thehalls halfway through history class. I’d rather be around his drizzle and storm clouds than Brooke’s rainbow right now.

I got a pass for the bathroom and headed in the direction of the science labs, where I found Brougham hovering, keeping an eye out for teachers or other potential eavesdroppers. He’d paired his blazer with tan, skinny chinos and a dark maroon tie. Though his outfit was coordinated and neat, his posture was stiff and he was bouncing on his heels, frazzled.

“Hey, walk with me,” he said as soon as I got close enough, heading down the hall.

“Yes, sir.”

He ignored my tone. “I did what you said, andshewas the one who brought up taking a day trip there as friends, so right now I’m convinced you’re either a witch or a genius.”

“And I’ll never let you know which one it is. That’s great, when are you going?”

“Saturday.”

“Did you wanna catch up beforehand so we can make a plan?”

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