Page 21 of More Than We Know

The park is bathed in golden light, and the thicket of trees provides the perfect backdrop for a photo shoot. Somehow, we’ve managed to get even luckier, because the heavy summer humidity has lightened enough that I wasn’t immediately sweating upon leaving the house.

The couple in front of me laughs as he spins her, and I snap a few pictures hoping to get a clear shot of their smiling faces while her dress whirls around her knees.

They’re an adorable couple, in their early twenties and clearly in love. I’m shooting their engagement photos today, and they’ve been easy to work with, taking direction well and having fun while they’re at it.

“Okay, get a little closer," I say, motioning with my hand. “Lean into each other. That's it, perfect."

The camera clicks as I snap a handful of shots then pull back to make sure they look alright before we move on to the next pose.

She grins and blushes as he whispers something in her ear, and it’s obvious how much they care for each other. It’s a look I’ve captured quite a few times since I started freelancing with engagements and weddings, but today, it stirs something deeper within me. Something bittersweet.

I can't help but think of Sarah and Quentin. The way they look at each other, the way they touch. There's a history there, a depth of love and understanding that only comes with time.

But I can’t help but wonder, where does that leave me?

I snap a few more shots, adjusting the settings on my camera to capture the warmth of the sun filtering through the trees. The couple follows each of my directions, and they rarely stop smiling. I should be happy, lost in the moment, but my heart feels heavy as I continue to think about Sarah and Quentin.

Is there any chance a couple that’s been together for twenty years would actually fundamentally change the entire dynamic of their relationship for me? The question has been weighing on me more and more after our last encounter. I've seen it before—couples inviting a third person in, only to realize it's not what they truly wanted.

I know I should be careful, but I can’t lie to myself. I’m falling for Sarah all over again, and I’m not far behind with Quentin. But if this ends, they’ll still have each other and I’ll been the one left behind.

It’s just so difficult to know where I stand with all of this. Even if their intentions are positive, nothing’s ever certain.

“Alright, I think we’ve got everything we need,” I say, lowering my camera and giving the couple a wide smile. Even despite my nagging worry, they were a joy to work with.

I let them know when they can expect the final photos back, and they thank me before walking away hand in hand.

After I’ve packed up my gear, I sit down on a nearby bench. The park is quieter now as the sun begins to set, casting long shadows across the grass. I pull out my phone and open my text thread with Sarah.

I need to know where I stand. I need to know if this is real, if there's a chance for something more. If this will remain solely physical for them, or if they feel the way I do. If they’re falling for me like I’m falling for them.

Or if I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak.

I take a deep breath, typing out the words before I can talk myself out of it.

“Hey, can we talk?”

I hit send despite my racing heart. Then, I wait.

Minutes tick by, each one feeling like an eternity, and I start to second guess myself. Maybe I should have waited to say something. What if this whole conversation is happening too soon and I scare her—them—off?

But then, the screen lights up with a message from Sarah.

“Of course. Is everything okay?”

I blow out a slow breath.

“Yeah, everything is okay. I just would like to talk about some things. Can we meet up?”

“Sure. Just me, or Q too?”

Hmm, good question. It’s not like it doesn’t involve both of them, but I have a feeling this will be easier to do one-on-one. “Just you. Coffee, tomorrow at ten? Same place as last time?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then!” She adds a heart emoji to the end of the text, which I’ll admit does make me smile.

Now, I just have to survive the night and figure out what the hell I’m going to say to her tomorrow morning.

CHAPTER 13

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