Page 22 of More Than We Know

SARAH

“Kat texted me today,” I tell Quentin.

He looks up from the bowl he’s currently mixing banana bread batter in. “Oh yeah? What did she say?”

“She wants to talk. In person.” Those three words— “Can we talk?”—have been circling in my mind all day. She hadn’t said about what, whether it’s good or bad, and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve replayed every moment of the past weekend, every touch, every kiss, every glance. I've never felt more alive, but what if it was all just a fleeting moment? What if reality is about to come crashing down?

Quentin doesn’t seem surprised, though. He simply wipes his hands on a dish towel and turns to face me in order to give me his full attention. “I had a feeling she might.”

Wait, what? “Why?” I ask.

He leans back against the counter, casually crossing his arms over his chest. “We had a conversation the other night, while you were still on your way home. Maybe it’s not my place to say it, but she has feelings for you. And I think she's confused about where she stands, with you and with us.”

I take a deep breath, trying to process his words. Kat has feelings for me, and I have feelings for her. At least we’re on the same page, but that opens up the same question that’s been spinning in my head since this started—how far does this go?

“What did you say to her when she told you that?” I ask.

“I told her that this is new territory for us, that we're figuring it out as we go. But I also told her that I care about you and want you to be happy, whatever that might look like.”

I sigh. “I’m not sure what that looks like, though. This is all so complicated.”

“You have feelings for her, and she has feelings for you. Why does that have to be complicated?”

“Because I’m already married to you,” I say, as if he’s forgotten.

He opens his mouth to say something, pauses, then finally finds the right words. “Look,” he says, “I know this is sort of unprecedented, but I like Kat. I don’t know her nearly as well as you do yet, but if you’re interested in pursuing a real relationship with her, I’m fully on board. We can figure this out as we go, but it’s clearly not just a physical thing for any of us.”

Hope sparks inside me. Is that something we could really do? All three of us in a relationship together? It’s unconventional, sure, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already secretly considered the idea. But what would our future look like?

Relationships are a lot harder to think about when you realize they can only end one of two ways: breaking up or being together forever. Both options are a little terrifying.

But if we were able to make it work, if Kat became a permanent part of our relationship…

“Okay,” I say. “I think I’d like that. I’ll talk to Kat about it tomorrow. As long as we’re all on the same page, I don’t see why it couldn’t work.”

He flashes me an easy smile before turning back to the counter and getting back to work on his banana bread.

“As long as everyone is open and honest with each other, I’m happy,” he says. “And honestly, it’s been amazing watching you embrace this side of yourself.”

Now it’s my turn to smile. Despite the fact that Kat and I did have a somewhat intimate relationship in the past, I’ve suppressed my bisexuality for so many years, stupidly convincing myself that it was just a college phase. It’s only now that I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that it’s a part of who I am. Just because I haven’t had a fully defined relationship with a woman doesn’t mean this part of my identity is any less valid.

And coming to terms with that is one of the most liberating things I’ve ever felt.

The door to the coffee shop opens, and I look up, like I have every time it’s opened since I got here. It's earlier than the time we had agreed on, but I couldn’t stay in the house once I was ready for the day. All this nervous yet hopeful energy inside me is making me antsy.

Kat walks into the coffee shop, and her gaze lands on me. I’m sitting at the same table we’d sat at last time. It was only a couple weeks ago, but everything has changed in such a short amount of time. Our last meeting here had been surreal, and I’d been half worried she wouldn’t show up. But that was the day we officially decided to explore this, and now it’s blossomed into so much more.

If her message asking if we could talk was about these feelings, then everything will be okay. The chance that it isn’t, that she’s done with this—with me—is too painful to even consider.

I wave at Kat, who smiles and waves back before ordering her own coffee, waiting at the counter for it, then sliding into the seat across from me.

Regardless of what she says, I’m laying everything out on the table today. This is it. No more skirting around feelings. No more pretending this is just nostalgia or exploration.

“Hey,” Kat says. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”

“Of course. I may as well take advantage of the rest of summer break while I have it,” I laugh.

She smiles, but for a moment, neither of us says anything. The clink of mugs, the hiss of the steamer behind the counter, and the low hum of conversation around us all blur into the background. I'm suddenly hyper-aware of every movement she makes, every shift in her expression. Her brow is furrowed slightly as she stares into her coffee.

---