Page 106 of Starstruck

“I wasn’t going to leave.”

My brows pulled, as a fresh flood of tears drowned my face.“What?”

His glassy eyes met mine. “I never was, if I’m being honest.” Hisshaky sigh rattled through me. “I haven’t been honest about why I’m here, with any of you… but these last few weeks have made me realise that the reason why I’m here, is the very reason I should leave.”

Fingertips tugged at the ends of his hair. “I never belonged here. Iwas naive to even think that being here would magically bring back the person I used to be, but all I’ve done since stepping foot here is lie to the people I care about.” A quiet sob broke free from his mouth. “All I’ve done is lie to the person I’m falling in love with.”

Falling in love with.

The words floated through me and went straight to my heart.

“You…” I choked the word. “You’re…”

“Falling in love with you, Marigold.”

Something I didn’t know what to call trickled down my spine as helet his hands fall back by his side.

I couldn’t breathe. “What do you… what does that mean?”

“I mean that,” His head sprang up. “You deserve someone betterthan me, Gold’s. You deserve someone who doesn’t have to tiptoe around his past just to make sure that part of him doesn’t come to light to wreck everything he’s come to know.” Another breath. “And you deserve to exist in the light.”

I shook my head, a tear slipping down my cheek, finally giving intoevery emotion that was begging to be let free. “All my life, I’ve been told what’s good for me. At every single turn, there’s been someone who thinks they know what’s best for me, who thinks they know what I need to get by in life. And being at Liberty, meeting you and feeling what I feel for you has been the first time I’ve been allowed to decide what’s good for me. And I know, Tristan, that you’re good for me. You and your heart are what I needed.”

He didn’t move as he asked, “And how do you know that?”

One of my shoulders lifted as I looked at him. “Because I’ve alwaystrusted myself, and I’ve always known what was best for me.” I took a step closer. “And you, Tristan Harper, are what is best for me right now.”

I’d stopped crying now, but my heart was still raging, still aching forhim, and the pain I could see on his face, but I couldn’t understand. It still ached for the version of us that nearly made it.

But right now, all we had was this moment. If this was real and hereally was leaving, I was going to treat this as the last time we’d ever be like this. Purely us.

This was our last moment before reality stole us away.

“Kiss me,” I said, earning back his golden stare.

I watched as his head fell back slightly, pain seeping into everycorner of his face as his mouth fell open. “Goldie, I can’t.” His eyes shone down on me. “I can’t let myself fall for you anymore.”

“You’re already falling.”

“And I have to stop.”

“One more won’t hurt—”

“It’ll hurt, Gold’s, knowing that I’ll just have to forget everythingabout you.” I didn’t think before I rested my palm against his jaw. He shuddered under my touch, before placing a hand over mine. “I can’t kiss you again, knowing that I’ll never get to do it again. Knowing I’ll never get to hold you like that again.” His eyes darkened. “Knowing that I can’t promise you just a kiss, Gold’s.”

When I dared one last look into those night sky eyes, all I felt wascontent.

If this was all we had, if this was all we were ever meant to me,then I’d learn to be okay with it. I had to. What other choice did I have?

But I wasn’t going to let go that easily.I wasn’t going to let the boy who’d shown me the standard I should hold my heart to go without finding a way to remember him for the rest of my life.

Even if it was just pretend.

“Then don’t promise me anything.”

chapter thirty five

hold me, adore me, don't leave me

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