Page 107 of Starstruck

Before I could blink, a soft curse slipped from Tristans lips, and suddenly his hands were on my face, his touch urgent and trembling. The warmth of his palms against my skin sent sparks down my spine, and just when I thought I might lose myself in the moment, his mouth crashed down onto mine.

The world went quiet.

I hadn't forgotten how right his lips felt against mine, how everything else seemed to fade away when he kissed me. It wasn’t gentle, wasn’t careful—it was raw, desperate, like he was trying to pour everything he couldn’t say into the space between us. My heart pounded in my chest, each beat matching the rhythm of his lips moving against mine.

His hands were firm but tender, like he was afraid I might slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough. As though he knew this was the last time we ever got to take this chance.

There was an urgency about the way he snuck his hand up my dressand gripped the backs of my thighs, holding me in place. There was a dare about how I let a moan slip through my mouth, praying that the walls were thick enough to disguise it from everyone else in the house.

Anything that I can remember about you for when you’re not hereanymore, I’ll take.

I’ll treasure it.

The words I’d whispered to him rang in my ears, making my handsreach for the shoulder of his jacket and pull at the leather until it pooled on the floor around us.

His touch was slow, almost reverent, something desperate in theway he moved, like he couldn’t stand to let go. He lowered me carefully to the bed, guiding me down until I felt the softness of the sheets beneath me. I barely noticed how the plush layers cradled me, too lost in the way his body hovered over mine, close but not close enough.

Tristan’s hands slid from my back, and before I could catch mybreath, he captured both of my wrists, lifting them above my head and pinning them gently against the sheets. A rush of heat flooded through me, the butterflies in my stomach multiplying and spreading to every corner of my body, setting my skin alight.

And then, just as I was losing myself completely, I felt his knee slipbetween my thighs, parting them with a deliberate slowness, making room for him to settle between. The sensation sent a jolt through me, my stomach plummeting in the most exhilarating way, like I was free-falling and he was the only thing I could hold on to.

This was new. Everything I felt and what was pulsing at the centre of my coreall felt new. But I loved it, and I could tell once this was over I’d be craving it. Thinking about it from the second my eyes cracked open until they fluttered shut at night.

I didn’t want to think about this ending right now, though, especiallyafter what I’d just said to him.

Don’t promise me anything.

But none of this felt like a lie. The way Tristan was gliding his handsdown my arms and gathering the fabric of my dress in his fists, smiling against my lips when he grazed my thighs, didn’t feel like anything other than a promise.

I’m leaving.

I wasn’t ever meant to leave.

All I’ve done is lie to the person I’m falling in love with.

The lines between us were so beyond blurred that I didn’t think Ihad the strength to figure out what words he’d whispered to me were true, and which were the lies he’d been talking about.

I was dragged from my thoughts when I felt his lips lift from mineand the weight of his pretty stare fell on me. I watched him part his mouth, struggling to find the words playing across his face, before he smirked. “I know we should have probably talked about this before I pinned your arms up but… how far do you want this to go, Gold’s?”

A smile dances on my lips, before I softly mutter, “I don’t know. I’venever, really, done anything like this before.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don't want to. Just tell me whatyou want, and I’ll take care of you.” He lifted his hand to cup my jaw. “I made you a promise, remember.”

Your firsts are safe with me.

Although there’d been no hesitation in the dream that I had abouthim all those weeks ago, part of me was still nervous. And even though I had a good idea of the picture we’d paint if we did what I’d dreamt about, I knew that tonight wasn’t the night we’d create it.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t comfortable, or didn’t trust Tristan. I did. Ireally trusted that he’d take care of me. But it was everything else that came into play.

For one, my parents were only a flight of stairs away, and thethought of them hearing or even walking in on that scene would be enough for me to retreat to the forest, live my life off the grid in a moss-covered cabin and spend the rest of my life reading faerie smut.

And two... after confiding with the girls in the weeks after thesex-dream de-brief, I realised that I wanted to take things slow, with everything, but mainly these parts of growing up that I hadn't properly given my time to.

There was so much to consider: birth control, knowing my body wellenough to know what I’d like, and what I’d hate, and finding someone that I trusted with that information as much as I did myself.

I had time to figure those things out now, and I wasn’t going to rushthem. But as I looked back up to Tristan, I knew I trusted him to be the person I ran over that bridge with. The rest… I didn’t know if he’d be by my side to figure it out, but still... I held out hope.

“Not all the way, I know I’m not ready for that but…” I bring myarms back down and set them on his arms, my thumbs skimming the tops of them. “Something… fun.”

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