Page 60 of Christmas Home

The fact that I felt almost jealous of the kids who were about to grow up here told me Lance had designed this just right. It would reflect the vision we all seemed to have of Crawford City and its future.

I flipped through the sketches and opened the one with the meeting house and barn. They would become public buildings belonging to the city. Doc had managed to get the town council to at least tentatively agree to take over maintenance once we’d completed the build.

Corey had suggested we build them last since we’d be using some of the profits from the development to supplement them, but I’d nixed that from the beginning. Even if it was a loss, the money I’d made from selling my family’s properties, including the one here, should be reinvested in their legacy.

Not because my parents deserved it, and not to get attention or make our family name anything more than it already was, but because our family had such deep roots here. A modern Quaker meeting house that would become a museum and an attached barn that would serve as a meeting space for the community was the perfect legacy to honor those who came before me.

I turned the page and stared at the Federal style recreation of the home my ancestors had built all those years ago. The house that’d nearly killed me.

It only slightly resembled what it’d been before additions were added. Including the addition that I’d been in the night of the fire. I had yet to go to see it again. I wasn’t quite ready, but at least looking at the beautiful rendering in front of me didn’t make me afraid or anxious.

Instead, what I saw in this sketch was the future and hope. Beginnings in a new place, a place that represented community and acceptance. It represented coming home as much as finding a new home.

It was modern inside, not unlike the other houses. A gorgeous open kitchen led to a large, fairly traditional dining room, which I’d requested when Lance had asked me what I wanted.

I had visions of friends gathering around the large, harvest-style table I envisioned in the space. There was a huge fireplace in both the dining room and the living room. Although thoughts of using them almost made me panic, Lance had assured me they could be decorative only. Still, because we were building a traditional-looking Federal home, it only made sense to make them the focal point in each room.

The renderings had confirmed what he’d said. I’d never have an open fire in my home. I’d never trust fire again. But I still liked the overall feel I thought the fireplace mantels gave to the rooms.

There were three bedrooms on the second floor. Two smaller ones, which made me think of having children. That was a shock, since I’d never even considered that before. I guess that was just another layer demonstrating how this town had influenced me. Being a father…well, that would be amazing.

Lance hadn’t skimped on the quality of his renderings. I had the money for the high end, and I’d do some of that, of course, but I also wanted to honor my Quaker background and not go too overboard. Simple, elegant features appealed to me.

I tried not to think of Clyde in the space. I was forcing myself to develop some scar tissue over the wound I barely wanted to admit was there but that’d opened up after Clyde had walked out again. I needed to prepare for a partnerless life.

But that didn’t have to mean a life spent alone. I wanted to further explore the possibility of having children, and I liked the idea of raising kids in the community Corey and I were building.

Despite that, I could see Clyde in the space. It felt like he’d appreciate the simple domesticity of the place, like the wide porch I’d had Lance add to both the front and back of the home,and the big front yard that bled into the shared space only separated by a white picket fence, reminiscent of the time my ancestors settled here.

I could see a family here, and whether or not I wanted to admit it, Clyde was a part of it for me. No matter how much I tried to force my thoughts away from him, I could see him in my space.

Corey came in, distracting me, and when I looked up from the designs, he was smiling. “It’s going to be amazing, and you’re sure you want to start with the common spaces?” he asked.

“Yes, and I noticed Jen wasn’t drinking mimosas with us, so I’d guess she and Jesse are going to want our condo back soon,” I said.

“You think she’s…?”

I shrugged. “No idea and I wouldn’t say anything out loud until she says something, considering how much the town likes to gossip, but does Jen strike you as someone who wouldn’t want Champagne?

Corey laughed. “Um, no.”

“The sooner my house is built, the better, wouldn’t you agree?”

Corey nodded and sat down across from me. “So, I might as well tell you now so you can be mad and get over it.” I cocked an eyebrow at him. “When I delivered the note, I told Clyde off for stringing you along.”

“What?” I asked, feeling panicked all of a sudden.

Corey sighed. “Listen, Ruther, I know he’s had shit happen in his life, but so have you, and someone needs to stand up for you. Don’t worry, I don’t think I said anything inappropriate or even offensive. But, you do know you deserve to be happy too?”

I stared at him, the emotions stirring inside me. Two weeks ago, I’d have been upset with him for speaking with Clyde over my head. Now, I felt more appreciative that he cared enough to stand up for me.

“Thanks, Corey, but I don’t think Clyde is doing anything to hurt me deliberately.”

“But it does still hurt, doesn’t it?”

I nodded in agreement. “It does still hurt.”

“That’s all I said. You deserve to be considered here too, and dumping his emotional baggage on you isn’t fair. Although,” he said, holding his hand up before I complained, “I didn’t say it that way.”

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