Page 54 of Paladin's Hell

“You ever talk about sex with Ella?”

My eyes widen. “Of course not.”

“You want dessert?”

For a second I don’t know what she’s asking, but when I see she’s waving toward the menu, I say, no. She asks for the bill, then looks at me carefully. “Jay, one day you’ll meet a man. When he walks in the room your heart will start to pound. When he looks over and your eyes meet, your palms will sweat. When he comes over and talks to you, you’ll get tongue-tied. That’s what you deserve. Don’t settle for a man who you think is safe. Who you think you owe something to. From hearing you speak, I think Paladin’s been a good friend for you, but no more than that.” She must see from my expression that I’m far from thinking she’s right.

But aren’t her words just echoing my thoughts before I came here? That Pal might have expectations I’m far from being sure match mine. I’d put that down to the things that I went through, but Moira could have a point. He doesn’t make my heart race, does he?

“Think about what I’ve said, okay?”

I agree. I can do that.

After not hearing from him all day, when I get a text later saying Paladin will be over at nine, my reaction is relief he’s okay, and annoyance he hadn’t bothered to get in touch with me before. I get none of the symptoms Moira had described.

Perhaps she’s right. I feign a headache and tell him not to bother.

He doesn’t reply. If I was as important to him as I’d thought, wouldn’t he try to persuade me to see him? Or is he relieved I don’t need him to come over? Have I pushed him straight into the arms of one of the club girls?

I realise I don’t like that thought one bit.

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