Page 35 of Paladin's Hell

Jeannie shakes her head. A moment passes before she answers. “I can’t say.”

I stand. Almost throwing my now empty cup into the sink. “You’re my best friend, Jeannie. Why can’t you be straight with me? Why are you more loyal to him?”

“Mo.” She’s standing too. “I can’t tell you because I don’t know.” Her hands wave, punctuating her words. “Yeah, if I knew, I’d tell you. But you know the score. Bomber and I don’t stay around in the evenings. Once dinner’s over we go home. All I can say is Hell keeps his hands to himself while we’re there. What goes on after? I have no idea.”

That makes sense. When the club girls start doing what they’re given board and lodging for, Sindy, Jeannie and I used to make ourselves scarce. I can’t think of any reason why that might have changed.

“I think he is cheating,” I tell her sadly. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” As she makes a noise of sympathy, I wave it off. “Who can blame him, Jeannie? Look at me, I’m a mess. I can’t match up to the whores.”

“Mo, yeah, we’re older. Can’t stop time marching on. As for sex, Bomber and I aren’t as active as we once were.”

“But you still do it? Fuck?” I ask crudely, in case she misunderstood.

“Sure. Yes. But not as often.”

“We don’t.” I tell her gruffly. “He must be getting it elsewhere. It’s the only answer.”

With a shake of her head, she refutes it. “Hell loves you, Mo. Fuck, he always did. I wanted him first, you know that, don’t you? But from the moment we met, he only had eyes for you.”

“His eyes aren’t showing him now what they once did. Just look at me, Jeannie. I’m overweight, and bits of me are sagging.”

“He’s getting old too,” she says astutely. “He might attract the interest of the young whores as he’s the president of the club, but if he wasn’t, they wouldn’t give him a second look.” She winks. “We’ve both ended up with old men, Mo. Just look at Bomber. Grey hair, where he’s got any at all. He’s not in his prime any longer. But I’ve grown old with him. Got no desire to trade him in for a younger model. So I’m not sure why you think Hellfire would.”

Men are different to women, though, aren’t they? Don’t they feel flattered when a younger woman shows their interest? Even if they know it’s the power that attracts them, not the man himself?

“Have you spoken to him?” She asks, following me to the living room.

The shake of my head gives her the answer. Then I add, “If I had my fears confirmed, I’d have to leave him.”

“Do you ever think you made a mistake? Marrying him?” Jeannie makes herself comfortable.

“Never.” Her question makes me think back to myself as a teenager. “Though I never got a chance to live my dreams, being forced to marry so young.”

“You wanted to travel, didn’t you?”

I did. But getting pregnant knocked that on the head. I’d never had a chance to discover what was beyond the confines of Colorado, except for brief visits out of state to other Satan’s Devils chapters. If I get divorced, maybe I can start all over again. Trouble is, now I might have the chance, I don’t feel the urge to go anywhere. Exploring new sights on my own, no longer attractive.

“There’s a family barbeque next Sunday. Why don’t you come, Mo?”

A strangled laugh comes from me. “You really think Demon would want me to be there? Play happy families?”

“You don’t know what Demon might want.”

“He might not even be back by then.” I snap. Then drop my head into my hands.

Immediately she comes over. “Mo, he’ll be fine.” Without explaining, she knows what I’m thinking. “Hell and Demon, they get on so well together. Father and son. Brother and brother. They’ll work it out.”

Jeannie stays with me that evening, I’m glad to have company. Though even her presence doesn’t prevent me having a sleepless night, visions of Demon having come off his bike lying dead or dying by the side of the road. I just wish he’d get into contact. He must know I’ll be worried out of my mind. Hell, too. Though it remains to be seen how much my son cares about either of us at this stage. We’ve all been living a lie.

Taking charge, like she does every day in the clubhouse, Jeannie’s up early, and is making breakfast when I appear. My eyes are red following another bout of weeping in the small hours, my head pounds, and my stomach churns at just the sight of food. Nevertheless, I try to eat something, not wanting her kind gesture to go to waste.

She tidies up after. I couldn’t give a damn what state my house is in.

Around mid-morning, my phone rings. Seeing it’s Hellfire, I take it into his office for privacy.

“Hell?”

“Demon’s here. He’s fine, Mo. He’s taken it, well, far better than I’d have thought. We were coming straight over to see you, but Cad had something to discuss with him. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

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