Page 36 of Liberating Love

“Well, when I was… away, I started helping out some of the guys with things like reading or getting their GED or whatever. There were a lot of them in there that were younger and had their whole lives ahead of them still once they got out. It’s hard enough when you’re in, thinking this is it and worrying about how you’ll ever find someone to hire you again, but to not have the basic education on top of that...”

In a rare moment of chill, Jack whispers, “They must feel so hopeless.”

Chet’s eyes swim with unshed tears, so this time I reach for his hands when he asks, “Were many receptive, Laney?”

The faces of the young men I’d spent hours in the library with or sitting outside with a good book flow through my mind. Barely men with faces already etched with worry, eyes old with untold sorrow, souls cut and bruised by horrors too heinous to believe. “Yeah, some of them really were. Honestly, more of them than you think.”

Dwayne sits back. “I think about some of the kids from when we were growing up. Like Barry. Do you guys remember Barry?”

Jack curses, shaking his head.

I say, “Those are exactly the people I’m talking about. Barry’s old man was such a bastard. Everyone knew it.”

“Have you ever wondered if he wanted to skip school or if he had to?” Dwayne asks.

Jack says scathingly, “There’s no question he would have been at school if that piece of shit hadn’t had him running drugs as soon as he could. Barry and I had a class together, six grade science, and he wanted to play ball as bad as I did, if not more. He couldn’t wait to reach high school and strut around in his football jersey on game day.” Jack huffs. “He used to tell me he was going to be the football captain and he’d date the queen.”

Chet’s hands squeeze mine, a tear slipping down his face. “Instead, he was in and out of juvie by freshmen year, and then…”

Barry had overdosed the summer between our junior and senior years. His father had ranted, claimed that the police must have done something to him because his son was too smart to take drugs. There wasn’t a person who knew the family that didn’t realize what he really meant was his son had been around that crap his whole life and knew how much he could handle. “Kids like Barry are exactly who I’m talking about. After I got past thehow the fuck did I end up here, I started studying my surroundings.”

“You always were watching people,” Jack says fondly, though sadness is now hovering over us, weighing us down.

“There wasn’t a whole lot else in there to do, anyway. As a father, it was hard to rectify how many of those men were the same age as my sons, you know? Then once I got to talking to them...” I shake my head. “Let’s just say, whether they were going to be there for five years or fifty, if they were willing to learn, I made myself available.”

Dwayne’s head bobs up and down slowly, thoughtfully. “Yeah, I can see you doing something like that. I wonder… Are you going to need any additional schooling to do that? Do you want to go back to the prisons or I wonder if the schools run any programs you could help with? Or the detention center? Maybe try to catch them before they end up doing hardcore time.”

“My friend is actually checking into some things for me. He has access to resources through his job that I may not.” No way am I telling them Aiden’s a cop. All it’ll take is one stray comment about this in front of my kids and they’ll be all over me.

“Ah, good, I’m glad you have someone on it for you. But let’s go back to the use of the word friend. Come on, Foxy, I’ve been an old married man for a long time. Asmyfriend, you need to allow me to live vicariously through you,” Jack says.

“And you talk about Dwayne whining. You may want to take a look in the mirror, buddy.”

Jack’s lower lip shoots out in a pout. “Whatever. Give us the deets.”

Dwayne faces me, rolling his eyes toward Jack. “Owning this place has him spending too much time with teenagers. He thinks he’s still cool.”

Chet squeezes my hands, redirecting my attention. “You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Chet’s sweet smile warms my insides. Seeing him here living his best possible life is all I ever wanted for him. It was one of the reasons I’d sacrificed and dated Francesca. Getting her pregnant and ending up a part of her family wasn’t anything I’d ever wanted, but I got Jovany and Jameson out of the deal. I knew Chet was reassuring me that my secret was mine, just like it had always been. Truth be told, I would have told Dwayne and Jack I was bisexual eventually, if the subject hadn’t become moot when I started dating and then married Francesca. I clutch Chet’s hands back and say, “Well, I told my boys recently, so you guys may as well know. I’m bisexual. I am interested in someone, but my friend is a he, not a she.”

Dwayne’s lips quirk at the sides, but Jack… God love him. “Damn, here I was feeling sorry for you the whole time you were in prison because of what happened with your ex-wife and that there wasn’t a way for you to bounce back and date her out of your system. Hell, you must have been in heaven surrounded by all those men.”

Chet lets go of my hands and turns, bopping Jack on the back of the head, and that’s it. It’s as they poke at me, trying to get more details, that I’m again overwhelmed with gratitude at how rich my life is. Prison sucked, but getting my friends back, watching my sons’ relationship heal, building a newer and stronger relationship with Jovany, and now, the potential for a career giving to people who truly need me—one I hadn’t ever even considered—yeah, not only did those years in prison not break me, they strengthened me. The only thing that can enrich my life more than it is right now in this minute is to earn Everly’s trust, and Freckles’s love. More than at any other point in my life, I know I’m up to the challenge.

* * *

“Hey, D. What’s wrong?”Aiden asks as soon as I answer the phone.

“Why would something have to be wrong for me to ask you to call when you had a minute, Freckles? Maybe I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice,” I say teasingly. Although, it’s actually the truth.

Aiden snorts. “I don’t know. Because somehow we’ve gotten into the habit of talking the nights I don’t see you as soon as Mom’s in bed, which is only a few hours from now.”

“Mhm, couldn’t wait that long.”

His breath quickens before he says, “Okay.”

Since he isn’t putting up an argument, I’m considering that a win, so I move on. “So what are you doing tonight?”

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