I swallow around the lump in my throat and nod before pulling away.
On the walk out to my car, I feel his eyes on me, and I make the same vow I’ve made to myself every time I’ve come here.You can’t come back, Aiden. If Jameson and Jovany find out about this, they’re going to kill you. This is the last time.
And just like every other time, I know I’m going to break it.
9
Delaney
Aiden’s soft sigh alerts me to the fact he’s ready to leave. Sliding my hands down the soft skin of his back, I steel myself for the inevitable. I’m pleasantly surprised when he places a kiss on my pec and nuzzles his face into my chest. I drop a kiss on top of his head and allow myself these precious more moments of bliss.
“Delaney, can I ask you a question?” he asks, his lips brushing my skin.
I tighten my hold. Aiden steers clear of serious conversation when we’re alone together. All of the tidbits I’ve picked up regarding his life have come from conversations around the dinner table with his friends, or when he inadvertently lets something slip. “Of course, you can ask me anything, anytime.”
He tilts his head up, resting his chin on my chest so he can peer up at me in the soft light cast from the candles. “Are you sure? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to.”
I smile down at him, rubbing his back soothingly to try and alleviate the anxiety etched on his face. “I’m positive. There’s nothing off limits to you.”
“Okay.” He bites at the corner of his lip instead of speaking, his gaze on my face, and I drink him in. Our time together is precious to me, but if we’re not fucking or eating, he’s dodging and weaving, ready to flee out the door if I push for any details that would open up his life to me.
Unable to take how he’s battering his luscious bottom lip any longer, I use my fingers to gently tug it from between his teeth. “What’s going on? You’re awfully serious.”
“Nevermind. It’s none of my business.”
He lays his cheek back on my chest, the stubble on his face rasping against my skin. I hesitate, scared to push and have him run out the door, but this is the closest he’s come to showing an interest in anything I don’t share on my own. Finally, my desire for us to know each other better, to have our souls bared to each other and not just our flesh, I roll him onto his back and hover over him. “Ask me.”
As I push my hands through the flaming orange strands of hair on his head, he pushes into my hand and resolve settles on his features. “I wondered… well, how was prison for you? Were you… okay?”
“Huh, you know, you’re the first person to ask me that since I got out. Everyone else barely acknowledges it, and we move on like it never happened.” I narrow my eyes. “What are you really asking, though? Are you wanting to know how it was or are you worried you’re a cop lying in a bed with an ex-con who deserved to be there?”
He immediately raises a hand to cup the side of my face, rubbing his thumb down my cheekbone. “No. I know you didn’t belong there. Even if Jameson and Jovany weren’t convinced of your innocence, I’d know that you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I read back through the files after I got close to Jameson. He wants so badly to prove you were framed, and I wanted to see if I could help.”
A part of me wants to ask how he knows Jovany doesn’t think I was guilty. As far as we’ve come since my arrest, it’s still a topic we avoid. We’ve focused on mending our relationship and establishing a connection, but I don’t want this thing between me and Aiden to be about my kids. Hell, I don’t even want him thinking about my kids. It’s part of what’s keeping him out of my bed where he belongs. “How about I go get us a snack or something first, and then I’ll tell you?”
He slides his hand around the back of my neck and squeezes before letting me go. “Okay.” I appreciate him giving me a few minutes to gather my thoughts before I answer.
I kiss his lips before I get out of bed and slide on my boxers. Walking through my dark house, I let my mind drift from the man in my bed to my time locked away from my family. Aiden’s a police officer, obviously he knows it wasn’t a damn vacation, but how much I should actually share I’m not sure. It was a hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, yet it also wasn’t as bad as I would’ve expected. After grabbing us a couple of beers and a bag of chips, I head back in. Aiden’s sitting up with the blankets pulled up to his waist, but I can see enough skin to know he’s still naked under there, which makes me oddly happy. He’s not already planning his next great escape.
I hand him the beers and our snack before yanking my boxers back down and crawling over him, settling myself under the covers by his side. He hands me my drink, which I guzzle half of, but when he tilts the chips toward me, I shake my head and let my head drop back onto the headboard behind me.
Staring at the ceiling, I speak quietly into the room. “The whole thing was so surreal. From the moment I was arrested, I knew I was facing time. Even though I was innocent, I knew that’s how it would play out. Don’t ask me how I knew, I just did.” Aiden sits silently beside me, but I hear the rustle of the chip bag as he sets it down, then his hand is on my thigh in a show of support. I grab it and continue, “Being in handcuffs was… scary. You watch TV and see the bad guy get arrested, but if they deserved it, you’re just glad that they got caught. But… when they put the cuffs on and shoved me into the back of the car, I felt so helpless. I understood for the first time that even if a person’s done something wrong, even if they really deserve it, the feeling of being trapped without the ability to just… move, is terrifying.”
I huff out a breath. “My main concern was my kids, of course. How this would affect them. Jovany was already a cop and I was scared it would screw him with the force, and then Jameson… he needed me, you know? And I was so worried he’d think I’d really done it, and then who would he have? There was already such a disconnect between him and his mom, and her family… forget it. It wasn’t like they looked down on Jameson, but more like they esteemed Jovany so much that there was nowhere for Jameson to fit.”
Aiden’s hand clenches on my thigh. “But what about you? How were you?”
“Miserable. Scared. Lost. Francesca, my wife, let me know immediately that she was leaving me. She said she wouldn’t have me tarnish her family’s name.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I bark out a harsh laugh. “Not me. Honestly, her leaving and then me going to prison for five years may have been worth it just to escape her and her crazy expectations.” I bang my head back. “That’s a story for another time”—I side-eye him—“okay?”
He doesn’t attempt to hide the curiosity lurking in the depths of his eyes, but he nods, giving me a pass for now. “One thing at a time.”
“Yeah.” Focusing back on the ceiling, I organize my thoughts. “At the time I thought the trial was the hardest part, I think. The unknown. It was almost a relief when the judge sentenced me. At least I knew, I fucking knew, what was next instead of all the months of uncertainty. But as much as it sucked going to jail the first time, they must have taken it easy on me. Maybe being a part of the family really did help me out in some ways. The officers were decent to me for the most part, and they kept me out of general population for my safety. There was a concern someone would attack me since I was related to the chief.
“I was shackled in the van when the panic set in. If I’d thought being cuffed was bad, it was nothing compared to having my feet bound, too. The correction officers who picked me up were from the prison and it hit me, I wouldn’t know a soul there. I’d be one hundred percent on my own. That’s the minute I realized my life was truly never going to be the same. It didn’t matter what happened when I was there, when I got out I’d have no family to go home to. Hell, Jameson would be done with college by the time I got out and already on his own. I’d never felt so completely alone in my life.”