Page 60 of Digging Deeper

“Sir,” I say in my most soothing voice. “You know I can’t let you do that. You’re armed and a threat.”

“Well, then I guess—”

The sound of him cocking the gun rings through the air, before I can utter another word, Gavin begs, “Please, please don’t shoot him. It has to be me. I can’t lose someone else I love; I’ll lose my mind.”Wait—Gavin loves me?The gun-wielding psycho’s eyes turn to Gav. “Yeah, me. If you shoot me, he won’t follow you, he’ll—”

“Gavin, shut up. What are saying?” I cut him off, darting panicky glances between Gavin and the gun, which is thankfully still trained on me.

Gavin’s eyes stay focused on the gunman as he cautiously moves toward him, but his words are for me. “Hendrix, you have to believe me. I can’t handle losing you. I can’t suffer the loss, the pain of watching a man I love die twice in my lifetime. It’ll kill me, so it may as well be me. Just run for cover. Promise me you’ll save yourself.”

The man starts cackling. “I should have known you were a couple of faggots. That’s reason enough to kill you right there.”

Before I can say another word, I watch in horror as he swings the gun from me and aims right at Gavin’s chest. The sound of gunfire explodes in my ears seconds before Gavin crumbles to the ground.

“Gavin!” I yell, thoughts of the shooter and my own personal safety gone as I run and drop at his side. Frantically I rip at his blood-soaked shirt. “Gavin, Gavin, speak to me. Please be okay, you have to be okay.”

Arms wrap tightly around me as a tear-filled voice whispers in my ear, “I’m okay, Hendrix. Shhh… shhh… calm down. Wake up, Drix. Please wake up. It’s me, Gavin. I’m okay.”

“Gavin?” I ask, shaking off my confusion. Coming fully awake, I clutch him to my sweat-soaked body. “Oh my god, sweetheart. You’re alive. You’re alive.” I tuck my head into his neck, breathing deeply, needing his strawberry and orange scent to calm me.

“Of course I’m alive. Drix, what’s this about?” he asks as he holds me even tighter and rocks me gently.

“The nightmares, Gav.” I pull back so I can take him in, his gorgeous face with the chocolate brown eyes that I’m continuously losing myself in, his blond hair mussed from sleep—my Gavin. Rubbing my hands up and down his arms, I choke out, “This time my dream was about you. You begged the man to shoot you instead of me.”

“What man?” Gav asks, scrunching his nose adorably as he scrutinizes my face.

“The man from that night, the one who shot me.” I tug him onto my lap and squeeze, being mindful not to crush his smaller body. My voice is muffled as I once again tuck into the side of his neck, my lips skimming his skin as I say in a trembling voice, “This time Jameson wasn’t there. He should have been there, not you. But that’s how it is some nights. Sometimes no one’s there that should be there, but it’s Holds or my mom, but the gun… there are always shots. And you… you told the guy who shot me that you love me and you begged him not to kill me. And I love you, I do, so I can’t—”

“Me too, Drix.”

“What?” Quickly I run through my nervous babble; realizing what I just said, I sit back enough to see his eyes are streaming tears as much as mine. “You do?”

One of his hands comes up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing at the tears as they overflow. “How could I not? My heart’s slowly healing because of you. Every day you glue another sliver of my fractured heart back into place. You’ve been patient with me, letting me sleep in your bed but never forcing me to do more than I’m ready for.” His thumb moves down and skims across my lips. “It’s more than the physical stuff, though. You’re a good brother, a loyal friend. You’re kind and generous. Even once you stopped with the overkill romancing, you’ve anticipated my needs and taken care of them.” He lets loose a small chuckle. “You love my fur-babies as if they were your own.” My lips tilt at the mention of Brutus and Nana. “I never thought I’d have someone love me again like Taylor did. I thought my one chance at a real family was gone. But you spend every day proving me wrong. You’ve included me in a way that my best friend has truly become my brother, him and Jameson both. I’m so thankful every morning I get up and see your face.”

I’m amazed by this man. “Move into my room.”

“What?”

“Move into my room. You’ve slept in here with me five of the last seven since we went to the Halloween party, anyway. We know we love each other, and it’s like you said, we’re already a family now. Let’s make everything official and bring your stuff into my room so that it’ll be a combination of us like the rest of the house is.”

The tears that had stopped falling, begin rolling down Gav’s face again. “Are you sure?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything. You make my life full. With you here, everything else will work out however it’s supposed to. The only guarantee I need is that you’re tucked in next to me when I go to sleep each night, sweetheart.”

Throwing his arms around my shoulders, he burrows into me, dampening my neck. “Yes. Please. I want to do that. God, Drix, I love you.”

“And I love you—so much.”

We lay back in my bed and just hold each other until sleep begins to pull us back under. Right before he drifts off, Gav says, “And don’t think we’re not talking about the nightmares tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” I promise. Because we do have a tomorrow, hopefully a lifetime of them. My nightmares may be terrifying while I’m having them, but with each one—with every shot fired—I gain clarity. It’s been a long, arduous journey since I woke up from the coma, but the technicolor life I’ve been given far exceeds what I had before.

* * *

“Thanks for coming over, man,”Jameson says as we relax in his living room together.

“Where else would I be? I told you I wanted to wait for the verdict with you.”

The sounds of Gavin, Holden, and Aiden laughing with each other floats over to us from the kitchen. Everyone took off work today to be here with Jameson while he waits to find out if his father will be getting an early release from prison. As much as he loves his father and is hoping he’ll be home in time for Thanksgiving, he’s holding up well under the stress.

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