Page 97 of Rebellious Hearts
“You heard me.”
He slowly turned and looked at me. His face was hard, his eyes closed off.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded.
Ben’s mind turned. I could see him thinking despite the mask he had on. I’d come to know how to read his eyes, to see when and how he would respond. But with his face this hard, his responses were usually curt, cordial, business oriented, with no room for emotions.
“Well, then.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, frowning.
“Thank you for letting me know.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Thank you for letting you know?!What’s that supposed to mean? Didn’t you hear what I said? I’m pregnant, Ben. With your baby.”
“Yes, I assumed it was mine,” he said tightly.
I raised my eyebrows. “And that’s your reaction? We’re not going to talk about what this means, how we’re going to move forward?”
Ben thought for a moment. “I’ll make sure you have everything you need. Send me bills, send me demands, I’ll make sure you get it.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t a project I can invoice, you know. I thought there was more between us. I thought we could be together in this.”
Ben snorted. “It was just pretend, remember?” He laughed, but it was laced with bitterness and didn’t reach his eyes, which were even more guarded now. “It was an act, and once we go home, all of it will be over. I’m not going to pretend with you for the sake of the baby. If anything, that will just screw up the kid. I’m not going to make you pretend. I’ll give you whatever you need, but that’s as far as it goes.”
His words stabbed at me one by one as he delivered them, and I stared at him, feeling torn and shredded and unstable on my feet.
“I don’t understand,” I said softly, my voice strained. “I thought…”
“Yeah, well, sometimes assuming can get you in shit.”
I shook my head. “You’re really just going to turn your back on your child? You’re not going to be a part of their life, not at any point?”
“Better that we draw the line now than shit doesn’t work out and I’m gone down the line. Trust me, it’s better not to havesomething at all than to think everything is fine and then lose it all later.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” I said. My voice hitched. I was close to tears.
“I’m saying that I’m not going to try to make this work with you because it won’t be real. I’ll help out wherever you need me to, and you’ll get your support, as it will be my duty and fucked if I won’t follow through on that. But this thing between you and me, this act… ends this afternoon after four, when Richard comes to seal the deal.”
I stared at Ben, trying to find the caring, warm, open guy underneath his suit of armor. But he was unreachable.
He’d closed himself off completely, and all that remained was his poker face.
The one that was incapable of love.
“Fine,” I said.
“Fine,” he retorted, like we were kids in a schoolyard.
“Fine,” I whispered before I turned and left his room, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
31
BEN
Pregnant? Fuckingpregnant?
