Page 84 of Rebellious Hearts
It shook me because it made me realize how far this had gone.
Too far.
We couldn’t be together—this was going to end soon. We were going home tomorrow after we saw Richie one more time to sign the final paperwork.
And when that was done and we were back in Newport, then all of this would be over.
Besides, I’d decided that if Seth thought I was good enough once we talked, I was going to take that job.
I had to get away from Blackwood Inc. I had to get away from Newport.
I had to get away from Ben.
Why?
Because I was falling for him, too, and this couldn’t happen. I couldn’t give up my career, give up the opportunity of a lifetime, just because some guy told me he was in love with me.
I’d done that before and it had nearly cost me everything I’d worked for.
When Brad had asked me to marry him, we’d been on the same page. Marriage, kids, with me as a stay-at-home mom so that I didn’t have to work, so that I could be there to raise the family while Brad worked to bring in the money and build us a life.
That had been the dream.
After getting engaged, he’d told me I should quit my job before the wedding so that I had more time to plan, so that I could have it just the way I wanted.
We’d fought about it. I didn’t want to give up my career yet, but he asked what the point was in pursuing it now if I was going to give it up eventually, anyway.
Finally, I’d given in. I’d decided we could do this. He had a dream for our future, and his dream could be my dream, too. We could figure it out—everyone made sacrifices for the people they loved, right?
I’d had my resignation letter ready. On the morning I’d meant to hand it in, Brad had been away on a business trip, and I’d wanted to surprise him with the fact that I’d done it when a woman had come to the apartment, looking for him.
She’d been as shocked to see me as I’d been to see her.
On her finger, she had a ring just like mine.
And she was pregnant.
When I’d confronted Brad that night, he’d told me he wanted her. I wouldn’t be a good mother. I wasn’t enough. I was too serious about my job. I was too serious about myself.
He’d left me with a broken heart and shattered dreams and all I’d had left was my career.
I couldn’t give that up again. I couldn’t turn down a position like that just for a guy because he told me he loved me.
Love meant nothing.
Marriage meant nothing.
After all, Ben had so easily lied about it before, what was to say he wasn’t lying about it now?
Deep down inside I knew that wasn’t true, but the past still haunted me.
Rather safe than sorry.
When we got back to the car, Luke drove us in silence to the hotel.
I got out first.
“I’ll be right with you,” Ben said and shut the door again. I saw him talk to Luke, and the two had words before Ben said something, and Luke nodded. They shook hands, with Luke reaching over his shoulder.
