Page 81 of Rebellious Hearts
I knew she liked us together, but if I was leaving… I suddenly realized what this would lead to.
“I have to detach myself from him,” I said.
Amy frowned. “What?”
“The project is already going ahead, and we’re going back home soon. This can’t go on, and if I don’t let go of him, then…” I didn’t want to say that I would get hurt, but that was a fact. If I allowed my heart to lead and not my head, I would end up walking away with a lot more damage than I could deal with right now.
“Don’t do that,” Amy started, but Ben looked over his shoulder, and she cut herself short. We couldn’t let him hear the conversation.
The trail changed as we walked, making me pay attention to the scenery. I was glad we weren’t going further into this. I couldn’t argue with Amy. She would take Ben’s side no matter what. She was so nice to me but she was a lot closer to Ben, and I knew exactly where her loyalty would lie. As it should.
The trail ascended to a bluff that overlooked the coastline.
The crashing of waves against the shore grew louder as we got closer and the trees fell away.
We were on top of the bluff now, and the view stretched to both sides, the ocean bright and blue and never-ending in front of us.
From here, we could see the town, too. It lay below us, nestled along the coast, with marsh grass and waterways all around it like veins that ran through the countryside, giving it life, giving it a pulse.
I took a deep breath. I felt alive out here, connected to the world around me, and somehow free.
If this was what it was to be in nature, to do the right thing and help, then Costa Rica was the kind of place I wanted to be. If this was what freedom felt like…
I glanced at Ben, whose eyes were on me, warm and smiling, and my heart constricted at the same time my stomach twisted in knots.
25
BEN
Iwalked to Sofia and stood next to her, looking out over the ocean.
“This is incredible,” she breathed.
“It is,” I said. “It’s weird, this is the same ocean we have at home. It’s all connected. But it feels so different out there. It makes me wonder what it would be like in the rest of the world.”
“Don’t you travel a lot?” Sofia asked. “You know, marketing planes and all…”
I shook my head. “Isellplanes. I don’t fly them. Daniel does that. And Chris and Alex usually go to Monaco for the yacht shows but I don’t always join them. I usually just stay home.”
Sofia nodded, and I saw a lot on her mind, a lot she wanted to say but didn’t. I wanted to ask, but I was interrupted by Luke’s cellphone ringing.
“Damn it, don’t we get a break?” he groaned.
“Who is it?” Amy asked.
“Mom,” he grumbled. “I’m putting her on speakerphone.” He answered before Amy could protest and dragged her into theconversation. She rolled her eyes but they both put on a smile to sound like they wanted to talk to their mother.
“They don’t seem to get along with their family,” Sofia said softly.
“They don’t,” I said. Since I’d met them in college, Amy and Luke had dreaded family events, never facing their mother alone, always being shields for each other. “I can’t imagine how it must be. I guess I’m lucky in that sense—my parents are great and I can always talk to them. I never feel anything negative when I see their names on my caller ID.”
“You’re very close to your family,” Sofia said, not for the first time. “You’re lucky that you ended up where you did, with people who care that much about you.”
“I am,” I admitted. I knew what it felt like to have parents who didn’t give a shit, who didn’t want me, who would do whatever they could to get rid of me. Sure, they’d used the excuse of not having enough money, but I wouldn’t ever let myself believe that it was about money. Nothing is about money, not when it comes to life and love and the rest of the shit that really matters. “I don’t think others who get adopted have it that easy.”
I’d heard of foster parents who took in as many kids as they could for the money the state paid for each of them. I’d heard of kids getting taken away again after being placed because it didn’t work. I’d heard of kids growing up in orphanages their whole life and only struck out on their own when they were legal, when they could afford to do it, and never had a family at all.
In all those cases, I was lucky.
