Page 62 of Rebellious Hearts
“If you’re talking about the asshole who dumped you…” He scowled. “Yeah, I went there. But he was a complete dickhead for hurting you, and letting you go will probably be the biggest mistake he’s ever made.”
Ben’s words were really sweet.
“Sometimes I feel like I might have been the mistake he made and he’s better off now.”
Where did that come from?
Ben opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and took another sip of his whisky. I did the same, sipping my wine, my cheeks burning.
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Ben said, his voice hard and his eyes serious. “Know your worth and insist that you’re respected for it.”
I nodded, pursing my lips.
“But having said that… I get it.”
I blinked at Ben, and he looked into his whisky tumbler again.
“It’s not that easy to feel like you have a lot of worth. Sometimes, life just fucking sucks, you know?”
I nodded slowly. That was the God’s honest truth.
“You know the four of us? The Blackwood brothers?”
“Everyone knows you,” I pointed out. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a global name, not just national.”
Ben offered a lopsided grin. “Yeah, well, my dad gave us a pretty good runway, and we just sort of took it and made it bigger.”
“He’s a saint for giving you such a great start in life.”
“You have no idea—we’re not biologically Blackwoods.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“This isn’t common knowledge and I’m not just throwing this information around for the fuck of it… but we were all adopted. At various stages in our lives and from different backgrounds but it was my parents’ way of giving back when they realized they couldn’t have kids of their own.”
I pressed my hand to my chest. “Oh, my God, Ben.”
“I know. Like I said, it’s not common knowledge…”
“I won’t say anything, but I had no idea. You seem so close.”
“Not always,” Ben said, and he threw back the rest of his whisky, putting the tumbler on the sleek coffee table. “There are a lot of times where I feel like I’m just walking in their shadow. I’m older than the rest of them, but I was adopted last. They were with my parents since they were kids but I arrived in my pre-teens and it just feels like I never fully fit in with them.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I also couldn’t believe that Ben was telling me this. It was a big thing to share with someone, and for him to open up like this…
“I just wanted to let you know that not feeling worth it, not feeling like you quite belong, isn’t something that you’re struggling with alone. There are a lot of us out there, with different reasons for not feeling good enough.”
He shifted a little closer until our knees touched, and the contact sent a pulse of warmth through me.
Somehow, Ben and I were connected. We were the same, although we hadn’t been in the same situation.
“That guy I told Richie about,” I started, then took a sip of wine. “The one who didn’t see the same future as I did… we were so serious, engaged to be married, and I thought we were on the same page. Until he told me he didn’t want kids. Just like that—he didn’t want what he’d told me he wanted at first.”
“Asshole,” Ben said, and he looked pissed off.
“Yeah, well. I guess it was just me that was the problem, you know? I didn’t know if I could do a life without children—it was something I’ve always wanted and to find out that made me wonder about our pending marriage. But I really loved him. I loved him enough that I thought I could change myself for him, change what I wanted.”
“Did you?” Ben asked.
