Page 58 of Rebellious Hearts
I rolled my eyes. “Why change a winning plan, right?”
“Unless it’s not a winning plan anymore,” Amy pointed out.
“Jesus, will you let it go?” I snapped.
Amy didn’t respond to my sudden anger at all. In fact, she just laughed.
“It’s not like you’re touchy about the subject or anything, huh?”
Amy was like a sister to me. She and Luke were an extension of my family, people I could turn to with the things that I couldn’t turn to my brothers or my dad with. But just like a sister, Amy was also a pro at teasing me, pushing my buttons, and getting me worked up because she knewexactlyhow to piss me off.
“Let me know when you’re done with family, and we can meet up,” I said, not taking her bait. “I have to go.”
I ended the call before either of them could say something.
It wasn’t long before my phone rang again.
This time, it was Luke on a normal call.
“Hey,” I said.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” I pushed open the doors to my balcony. The air had the tang of salt to it but it was different down here than it was in Newport. The sun was warm on my skin.
This was the kind of place someone could be happy. The people in town stayed here for a reason, even though it was such a rundown place and maybe this was why.
“She’s just sodifferent,” I said, even though I’d told Luke I wasn’t going to talk about it. “I actually like the way she thinks. And that’s fucked up because I don’tlikeanyone.”
“Hey,” Luke said with mock hurt in his voice, but he chuckled. “I get it, though. Sometimes, there’s just that one woman who manages to change everything.”
“You’ve had one of those?”
“Sort of,” Luke said.
“Who?” I’d known everything about Luke since we’d met in college, and he’d never mentioned this.
“It didn’t work out, so it’s not worth talking about. All I’m saying is I get it. Are you going to make a move?”
I thought about fucking Sofia, having her writhe beneath me, or riding me, her breasts jiggling, her hair on my chest…
“No,” I said.
“Why not? You like her; what’s the problem?”
“I’m not the dating type.”
“You could be.”
I stayed silent, not responding to that. The fact was that with Sofia, Luke was right. Ididfeel like I could be the dating type. She opened up my eyes to the rest of the world, distracting me from my own problems and it was refreshing to know that I wasn’t the only one who had it rough. It sounded backward to say it like that, but it made me feel less lonely.
“I’m not the dating type,” I said again.
He didn’t need to know why. Hell, Luke and Amy knew all about the Blackwood brothers and where we really came from, but he didn’t have to know the real reason I wasn’t going to get involved in a relationship. I just wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough to fight for as a kid, I wasn’t good enough to get adopted right away, and I wasn’t good enough to give Sofia the kind of life she deserved.
Sure, I could give her all the money in the world, but somehow, Sofia didn’t care about money and I didn’t have anything else to offer. Without my money, stripped of all the luxury and the title being a Blackwood afforded, I was just… me.
And there was nothing about me that made being with me a good deal.
