Page 81 of Forever Not Yours

“Of course I am, and it’s not like they don’t know. Mum asks about you all the time. Tells me to look after you. Wants to know if you carry my emergency glucose pen and if I’ve added you to my life insurance.”

“Have you?” He looked genuinely shocked at that one.

“You’ve always been on it. Just don’t go hitting me over the head in the night now. It’s not much, but you know. If something ever happened to me, I wanted you to be all right. I wanted all this I’ve worked for to be good for something, and you’d know what to do. Build a hospital suite with it or something. Give it to Battersea Dogs Home. Go on holiday.”

“Bastien,” he said quietly. I knew. Grand gestures and all that. I’d even told Juliet. She’d agreed with me fully. It was just money, and she had her own. And one day, maybe… I didn’t want to think about it. Apparently, he did.

“One day, we’ll have kids, and it will all go to them. Do we agree on that?”

“Of course.”

The black ball in my stomach was still there. It probably would be for a long time. But it would get lighter. Easier to carry. I was sure of that.

We parked up on my parents’ drive and got ambushed by my mother speaking far too fast in Flemish, whooshing me straight back to my childhood. I usually spoke English to her on the phone so Jake could listen in, but it was a familiar comfort as she kissed my temples and nattered away.

Then she turned around and kissed Jake, the same familiar greeting.

“Dag schat, ça va? Was het niet te druk onderweg?”

She called him handsome and gorgeous and ushered him inside, like she’d completely forgotten I existed. My dad hadn’t, though, and just slapped me on theback and took the bags, then tutted as I let Flossie out of her cage and let her relieve herself all over his precious flower beds.

“It’ll kill the grass.”

“She’s only little. And it’s only for the night.”

“So we’re babysitting this overgrown yarn of fluff?”

“Yup.”

“How much damage can she cause?”

I had to laugh. But Dad just picked her up and smothered her in kisses and called her a little rat like he had owned a dog all his life. Fact. He hadn’t. But this was why I loved my parents. Why I had zero qualms about what I was about to do.

I found Jake in the kitchen making tea, my mum still fussing over him asking him too many questions all at once.

“Mum, Dad,” I started. Better get this over and done with before I lost my nerve. Because if I didn’t? I didn’t even want to think about the state I’d put myself in. Mute and anxious and curling into a virtual ball in my head.

They were looking at me. So was Jake. My Jake.

“If you’re going to throw a tantrum over Jake sleeping in the guest room…” my mother started, as my dad finished her sentence.

“We’ve already dealt with that. You’re both in your room. I added extra pillows. I know how you complain if we don’t let you treat this as a five-star resort.”

“I expect nothing less,” I sassed. “And we will be requiring breakfast in bed.”

“Spoilt,” my dad retaliated. “But how often do we get to see the two of you? Worth all the extra hassle. But don’t push it. I’m not making you bacon sandwiches at midnight. Mum and I need to get our sleep in.”

“But Dad did buy that special bacon you like, so you can make those sandwiches yourself. Don’t set the house on fire.”

I felt sixteen. And Jake just laughed.

“I’m sure we can look after ourselves,” he said softly.

“I’m sure you can,” my dad agreed, crossing his arms. “Now what did you want to say?”

“Well.”

Fuck. All eyes on me.

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