Page 32 of Forever Not Yours

Fuck you, Jake.

“Stand up,” he ordered, suddenly straightening his back like he was in control.

He was. He’d told me. He’d always been. Which was why I tended to behave better when he was around me. When I let him…

Fuck. I liked this a bit too much. My dick did too. I stood up in my joggers and T-shirt, like I hadn’t beenable to get dressed properly. Loungewear, my mum called it. My dad called it being a slob. I suppose I was.

But then Jake was wearing similar things, and he was sitting on that sofa, but hiding nothing. He had a boner; I could tell even though he was fully dressed. Apparently, I did that to him. Just me, stood here like a bloody idiot.

Slowly, he lifted his hands, tangled his fingers in the waistband of my joggers and pulled them down. Not all the way, just over my hips, so I could feel the leather of his gloves against my skin. Warm. Rough. Weird.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

I nodded like the weak bastard I was. His mouth, the way he looked at me… I shivered under that gaze, and I had no idea why.

“Good boy.”

Fuck my dick and its ways. Bouncing there right in front of him. I fidgeted in unease.

“Stand still,” he demanded. And there went my joggers, down by my feet as he looked up, motioning for me to step out of them. “You’re safe. Absolutely so.”

I didn’t believe a word of it, and it was making me fret on the inside. I had no idea what was going onright now. Apart from that he carefully removed my boxers, leaving me naked and erect, right in his face. Those gloves travelled back up my legs smooth against my skin, a hard grip on my thighs.

This apparently turned me on. A lot.

Then he stood up and carefully cupped my chin. He was still wearing his hoodie and jeans. Me? I was now fully naked, as he lifted my T-shirt over my head, my nipples shrinking as cool air hit me.

He leant in and carefully kissed me on the mouth, like this was now a thing Jake and I did.

I thought we merely fucked, but today had been different. Despite all his fancy words and reassurances and the way he had cried in my arms this morning, I had remained cool. Tried to ignore the absolute fact that this man…apparently loved me.

I felt it, and it was bloody ridiculous. I felt it in the way his lips pressed against mine, how his mouth moved, and how I took it, the way he made me kiss him right back, tongue and all. The way he cupped his hands around my face, like he was in awe of me.

I didn’t know how to feel about that, apart from that it had somehow calmed me down, right to thisheadspace, even though my legs felt like jelly and my dick strained.

“There you go. Now you’re calm. Good boy.”

Fuck you, Jake. I couldn’t get my mouth working, or I’d have said it out loud.

His hands travelled down my arms, ending up gently on my hips as he sat back down, leaving me standing there, shivering. Yet there was something else. Something incredibly…

His hands gripping my hips, he took my cock in his mouth, sucked it in almost all the way down, and I gasped, his warm tongue seemingly everywhere at once as he slid off, then took me straight back down again. Bobbed back up. Right back down. And again. His mouth. My dick. Oh, fuck. I watched helplessly, too mesmerised by what I was seeing. Those gloves on my hips. The way he pulled me in, rubbing his lips into the root, then pushed me out as he let me go. And I was making sounds. Fuck that. All of that.

He pulled off and just smiled at me. I couldn’t even pretend that I was cool with all this. I never let men suck me off. I just wanted the fucking. The helpless,rough, impersonal shit. Yet here I was, letting him do this to me. I whined louder as he did it again. Oh God.

“Jake!” I wanted to put my hands in his hair, tangle my fingers in that dark mess.

“I’m going to ask you how you’re feeling right now, and I want you to answer with colours. Green if you feel okay. Yellow if you need a moment to catch your breath or if you want me to slow down. And red? That means we stop. No questions asked. Do you understand?”

“This isn’t some BDSM club, Jakey.” Pathetic. But it made him laugh.

“No, it’s not. But it’s a way for us to communicate simply and honestly. As you know, we haven’t been very good at that so far. So today, we’re trying something new.”

Okay?

“How are you feeling?”

How was I feeling? I had no clue. Nothing. White? Would that be an answer?

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