Page 25 of Forever Not Yours

“It’s all prepared and in your files. Submitted it last night.”

“I know, and I’m grateful. But you need to be there. We need a firm stance, and they like you.”

“It’s got nothing to do with liking me. They’re bullshitters and need putting in their place.”

“Which you do. They look at me like I should be sweeping the floor and bringing them tea.”

I smiled. She did too. It felt nice, like we were somehow back on even ground.

“Doesn’t mean things are fine, Bash. Just do the work. For now, that’s all I ask.”

“I transferred you the money,” I said quietly. “I need to know if it’s enough.”

“It’s all the costs split in half. I don’t want to have to think about it.”

“I should—”

“No.”

Okay. I knew when to back down.

“Don’t ever think I didn’t love you. I still do. Always will,” I said. I meant every word. Juliet had been my world, and there was nobody at fault here more than me.

“Don’t say that.” Her voice was low, but she was looking at me, and there was no anger there. Just hurt. All the hurt. I knew it well, because I carried it too.

“Bash.” She shuffled in my visitor’s chair. Then stood up, took a step and turned around and sat down again. “I don’t like it, and I am so bloody angry. At the same time, I’m relieved beyond belief. Do you see what I mean? I’m relieved that I don’t have to do this anymore. That I don’t have to live my life in constant fear of not being able to be what you need. That I don’t have to cry every month when I bleed because I know how distraught you will be. That we can just walk away. That’s what I’m clinging to now. That I can walk away and you’ll let me. Do you see what I mean?”

I did. And I nodded.

“Then let’s just work for now and try to figure out how to let go. Because right now, that’s the only thing I have enough strength to do.”

She was right, and it wasn’t until she shut the door behind her that I finally breathed out.

Highly strung was just the tip of what I was right now, but I knew how to suppress it and appear as if Ihad everything under control. Because I did. I was on top of things and in control, and my intern was proving to be more than capable of bringing me nutrition and caffeine and siphoning my calls and emails into necessities instead of wasting my time. I was rather impressed.

I worked, sat in meetings, pulled deals, and then I went back to Jake’s, again finding the bed in the dark irresistible as Flossie took up residence in my arms. I slept, better than I had for days, and the shrill ring of the alarm going off felt like a heart attack in progress, yanking me out of peace into what felt like pure chaos.

And then there was a firm grip on my arm.

“Bastien. It’s Saturday.”

Was it? And why? I sat on the edge of the bed, frozen in place.

“Do you have plans? Or will you stay with me today?”

Too many questions. Both required answers that I hadn’t yet figured out. Did I? Would I?

“Gym. Walk Flossie,” I started, but I swallowed my words as he crawled up to a sitting position behindme. “Should go into the office and get some paperwork filed,” I huffed out in a panic.

“Should is one thing. But there are other things that need seeing to.”

I don’t know why I read that as a promise, or why my dick jumped and my cheeks flamed.

“Jake,” I said. Then I went quiet again, because what the fuck, Bash? This? Uncomfortable and weird.

He shuffled behind me, and I found myself sitting in his embrace, his arms around my front as his chest cradled my back, one leg then the other finding its way down next to mine so I was now on his lap, being held.

“You’re safe with me, you know that right?” he said softly, giving me a little squeeze.

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