“So, you want this to end?”
I shrug. “I think it’s been over for a while,” I admit honestly. “I care for you, but it’s obvious I’m not giving you what you need.”
“Can’t you try?” he throws back at me, and I hold his hurt gaze.
I thought I was. The need to fix my wrongs burns deep within me, but I don’t know how. I quickly go through our relationship. Our nights of reading and watching TV. Sleeping in the same bed but never touching each other. The galas, the charity functions we attended together. The holidays with his family and mine. The countless times we had sex and I never got off. Was I even there?
I realize I’ve been living on autopilot, and this isn’t how I want my life to be.
Something has to change.
I haven’t traveled since I met Chad. Maybe I need to do that again.
One thing is for sure—this is over.
I lick my lips, and my body is begging me to look away, but I don’t. “I’m sorry I wasted your time, Chad. Truly. I am.”
He shakes his head, and when tears gather in his eyes, my heart sinks. “How can you be so calm about this while I’m dying inside?”
“Inside is a storm. I just can’t let it out,” I say, quoting my dad from whenever I’d get to be too much. It is the Temu version of “Conceal, don’t feel” fromFrozen. Not wanting to think of my father right now, and since Chad is already down, I won’t admit that the storm inside me has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that I just wasted a year of both of our lives.
“Yeah, there always is,” he mutters, shaking his head, and I wonder why I never noticed that he always did that. Undermined by my chaotic brain. But really, what do I expect? No one but my grandma ever cared.
Okay, this is not the time for woes, Fable.
But what if it is? I am getting dumped.
Nah, still not the time.
He hesitates for a moment before he tells me, “Fine. But if you let me leave, Fable, I won’t come back.”
“I know,” I say softly, holding his gaze. “I wish you well.”
He comes toward me and leans over to kiss my lips softly, surprising me completely. It’s awkward and chaste before he pulls back to look at me. “Have a good life, Fable.”
I swallow, resisting the urge to wipe my lips free of his kiss. I give him a soft smile, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “You too.”
He shakes his head, and I know he is trying to give me time to stop him. I won’t, though, because this moment just woke me up. I can’t keep doing this. I need a new tattoo, a new piercing, or maybe I’ll pull a 2007 Britney and shave my head. Wigs could be cool. A different color each day. When the door slams shut, I realize that he’s gone, and I’m left alone.
I wait for the loneliness to seep into my soul, but it doesn’t. Instead, I truly have the urge to go shave my head.
Maybe three glasses of wine would be a better idea.
I should probably make sure that Chad took his clippers with him before I give in to the urge to shave off all my long locks.
Nope, wine is a better idea.
Before I can get up to go to my wine bar, my phone rings. I know it’s not Chad since it’s my grandmother’s ringtone. I search for my phone that fell deep into the abyss of my chair and answer quickly. “Sorry, my phone fell?—”
I can’t finish my sentence, though.
My grandmother is sobbing.
“Kitty?” I ask softly, her nickname shaky on my lips. She never let me call her Grandma, said she was too young to have a grandchild. I wasn’t a fan, but it’s all I’ve ever known. She doesn’t even let my dad call her Mom; everyone calls her Kitty. Her broken voice pulls me from my thoughts of how weird that is, and then she’s choking on a sob.
“Fable, he’s gone,” she sobs. “Grandpa passed away.”
I fall back onto the coffee table and cover my mouth.