Page 146 of Beautifully Reckless

“Please don’t give up on me,” I cry. “Let’s try again. I know I can do this.”

Sympathy washes over his expression as he drops his shirt and steps closer, reaching out to cup my face.

“Angel. You’re not ready. We don’t have to do this tonight.”

“Yes, we do.” I practically stomp my foot. “Don’t you get it? If I don’t do this, then they win. Every single time I get triggered it means they win, and I want myfuckinglife back!”

Ringo’s expression softens, his other hand coming up to cup the other side of my face as he tilts my head back so I have no choice but to look into his eyes.

“I know you want to reclaim that part of yourself, Angel, but when we come together, I want it to be for no other reason but because we need each other.”

“You don’t think I need you? Youdon’t think I want you?” I shove him back and his hands fall away. “I came to you last nightaching. I’ve never done that before with anyone. Never so boldly put myself out there. And sure, I could have taken a cold shower and tried to douse the flames, but I didn’t want to, because the thing is, I only feel this way aroundyou.”

I spin, tugging at the hair elastic in my hair, sick of having the tight pull of my ponytail making my head ache, and I toss the hair tie to the carpet, discarding it as I spin back to face Ringo, my strands whipping my face.

“Maybe hormones are playing a part in this insatiable hunger I have, but it’s not even an issue until I start thinking about you. Until I see you. Until I hear your voice, or smell your intoxicating scent. So while I might have the need to get over this hurdle in the hopes my fucking head stops taking me back to scenes that make me want to DIE!” I scream the last word as I slap the side of my head in frustration as angry tears burst free. “It’s my heart that fucking craves you Cameron. It’s my heart that wants to be so impossibly close to you that I want to crawl under your skin because I don’t know any other way to be closer.”

I slap my chest this time, not even caring that I’m standing before him completely naked, my baby bump probably making me look ridiculous.

“The ache I have isn’t just between my legs when it comes to you, Cam. It’s in here.My heart. The thing I never thought would be whole again. So when I’m acting all bloody crazy like I am now, it’s only because I don’t know how else to make you understand that all Ineedright now isyou.”

Dragging his gaze from me, Ringo drops his eyes to the floor between us as he rakes his hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry, Abs. I feel like I’ve been fucking this up all day.”

When his eyes meet mine again, I see the uncertainty in them, and I worry my lip, my teeth digging deep.

“Tell me what you need.”

“You.” I answer easily. “I just want you, in every way.”

His gaze drops down my bare flesh then, raking over my breasts and my swollen stomach before flicking back up to my glassy eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“But I did.”

I shake my head, not knowing how to make him understand. “I don’t think you did. I think it was in here.” I stab my finger to my temple. “I went somewhere else.”

He nods. “I’m going to need to know where you went.”

I gulp. “Do you really need to know?”

“If we want this to work, I need to know some details so I know whatnotto do.”

I stare at him for a long moment, more pesky tears burning the backs of my eyes, but I bat at the one that escapes, taking in a deep breath as I fight the rest off.

“This should be sexy. Erotic. Loving.” I gesture between us. “Talking about that stuff isn’t any of those things.”

“I know, and I honestly don’t think we’ll have to do this every time, Angel. It might just be because it’s the first time. You took my fingers so well. And my tongue. But I’m guessing the biggest weapon they used against you was their pricks, so while this isn’t ideal, it’s important we get this right.”

I don’t want to tell him that Donny’s prick was really big, kind of like his. He doesn’t need to know that, right?

“Okay.” I concedeas I start to tremble. “What do you need to know?”

“What was it exactly that happened that took you out of what we were sharing and into a memory?”

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