Page 32 of Bleeding Hearts

You should know I’m a package deal. I have a kid. She’s three and a handful. Dating me won’t be easy and sometimes I’ll have to say no because she comes first. You’ll meet her when you’ve proven yourself worthy, not before. And I don’t fuck around. I’m not saying we won’t, but it won’t happen right away. If I haven’t scared you off yet, then meet me at the Starbucks off Victory near Savannah State. I’ll be there at 3:30. Give you until 4:00. If you don’t show, I’ll assume I scared you off, and that’s cool. I still had fun the other night.

ME:

I’ll be there as long as we don’t get a call.

ME:

And if that happens, I’ll text you, so you know I didn’t stand you up.

I’ll never forget her face when the firetruck pulled up, and I jumped out with three other guys. I was the rookie at Station 8, been on the job about a year. I was the new driver and talked them into grabbing a late lunch and coffee. We had to use the truck because we were on duty and had to be ready to respond to any calls. Which meant I dealt with the guys harassing me about tricking them into getting coffee so I could talk to some cute chick. Then watched her blush when she realized that instead of asking for her to reschedule, I’d dragged my crew along with me. Just so the two of us could talk during her very rare hour of free time she had before picking her daughter up from daycare.

That sweet kid smiles at me now. “Me too. I remember the story of Mom gushing over the cute firefighter whenever you two went out. That’s what Aunt Stacy called you when she came over to watch me. The cute firefighter who was about to light a match and set mom on fire. Mom told me I cried, thinking you were really going to do that. And how they laughed and then tried to explain to a three-year-old what that meant without actually saying it.” Kellie makes a grossed-out face. “I know now and yuck. But hey, it worked out, right? You’re my dad now.”

“And I love being your dad.” I reach across the table and ruffle her hair.

She swats my arm away. “Mom was a good mom before you came along, but she was a much better one after. You added something to her life I couldn’t. Made her a much happier person, making her a better mom.”

Folding her hands on the table, she takes a deep breath. “And you’re an amazing dad, but you were a better one whenMom was here. You’re not as happy as you used to be. You fake it well, but I can tell. Something’s changed since Miss Bethany and you started hanging out. You smile more. You totally light up when you see or think about her. And I know you feel guilty because of Mom, but don’t. She’d want you to find someone new who you could act a fool with.”

Heat rises in her cheeks, staining them a delicate pink. “And yes, I know what Grams was referring to when she said that. But it’s okay to do adult stuff if it’s what you want. Gross, but okay.” She makes a cute gagging face before she continues. “You don’t have to marry her, but maybe a little fun will help you heal. Remind you what being happy feels like. Again, please do not share or do any of the adult crap near me.”

A chuckle escapes me as I tousle her hair. “Wouldn’t dare.”

Rolling her eyes, she bats my hand away again. “No one could ever replace Mom, but maybe someone else would be a good fit for us. It might be Bethany, it might not, but there’s only one way to find out. So, yeah, I’m totally okay with it. Thanks for asking.”

“Thank you.” I lay my hand on her arm. “You are so much like your mother. And you’re right. Which is why I’m going to do my best to do just that. For now, Miss Bethany and I are testing the waters. There are things we both need to work through and talk about. If it turns into more, I promise to let you know.”

“If what turns into more?” We’re interrupted by Susanne, prompting an eye roll from Kellie. “Are you talking about your lady friend? The one Stacy has been talking about? Who is she? Where did you meet this one? I don’t want you bringing anyone around the girls without me meeting them first.”

Pushing my chair back from the table, I stand. “First, that’s not how it works. You don’t get a say.”

“Why? I should. I’m Stephanie’s mother and these girls are hers. I should get a say in the woman you date to make sureshe’s good enough for them.” With a look of pure ice, Susanne glares at me. “The only good thing that you did for my daughter was creating that precious little girl upstairs.”

Kellie pounds her fist on the table, the sound echoing loudly in the room. “That’s not true. Don’t speak to my dad like that. Mom wouldn’t like it and you’re wrong. He’s the best thing that happened to her and you’d have known that if you were around more.”

“You’re a child, Kellie. You don’t understand.” With a curt nod, Susanne dismisses my daughter, the same dismissive flick of the wrist she used countless times on her mother. “Stay out of the adult topics. It’s rude.”

Now it’s my turn to speak up. “Don’t. You don’t get to come in here and interrupt us by telling my daughter she doesn’t understand. If anyone does, it’s her. You will respect her opinion, even if you don’t agree with it.”

Susanne’s face puckers up. It looks like she’s sucked on a bunch of sour lemons. “Fine. If you don’t care, then why should I? But when this all blows up, don’t go blaming me. I bet she’s only with you because she has some fantasy about firefighters. It will only take her once to realize how the fantasy is so much better than the reality of it all.”

Kellie picks up her backpack and walks out of the kitchen to put it away. Like her mother, she hates it when Susanne starts and would rather leave than argue with her. I don’t blame her. Sometimes it’s better to just let it go than to poke the bear. But I’m better at stirring up trouble than walking away.

“My date mentioned something about a firefighter fantasy. One I plan on helping her live out after dinner. And I can promise you this, Susanne.” I grab the back of the chair in front of me and lean forward. “She won’t be disappointed, just like your daughter never was. In fact, it’ll be better than any fantasy she can dream up. Have her begging me for more before it’s allsaid and done. Just like Stephanie did multiple times when I fucked her so good she’d pass out on me. Have you ever been fucked that good, Susanne?” My expression turns into a frown as I scan her from top to bottom. “I doubt it.”

Susanne gasps and her jaw drops open before she picks it up and points her finger at me. “Real men make love; they don’t dothat.”

“And the only women who say that are ones who’ve never experienced raw carnal sweaty sex. You know, the kind that makes her toes curl and has her begging you to let her come.” From my pocket, I retrieve my truck keys. “Thanks for watching the girls. A good hard fuck is exactly what I need after dealing with you. Now I understand why Stephanie always came home and attacked me like a wild woman after spending a day with you. Had I known, I’d have sent you flowers with a thank you card attached.”

Kellie laughs at the top of the stairs, where she’s holding Mollie’s hand. As soon as I’m done ranting, she lets her sister’s hand go so my baby can come tell me goodbye. I catch her midair, like always, and squeeze her against my chest.

“Have fun, pumpkin.” I kiss her cheek. “Be good for Grammy.”

“What’s raw carnal sweaty sex? Is that what you’re gonna do with Miss Bethany? Will that help her get better faster? If so, you should do it a lot so she can walk around without help.” Mollie grabs my face. “I like her, Daddy. So, make sure you do it real good, okay?”

My eyes lock with Kellie’s, who can barely make it down the stairs because she’s laughing so hard.

“It should help her get better. And it’s an adult thing that only we can do. Kids shouldn’t even talk about it, okay? Kind of like fornicating, but better, remember how we talked about Cora and Troy doing that because they loved each other.”

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