Page 85 of Bull Riders Don't Swoon

“I’m an adult. His recovery is a priority. I get that, Griff. I only want one thing from you.”

Those blue eyes meet mine and I could get lost in them if I let myself. “What do you want, Jamie?”

“I just want to love you.”

Griff swallows hard and puffs a shaky breath. His lips part and then close, not saying a word. But he doesn’t have to. Instead, I press a soft kiss to his lips and feel his fingers pull my belt loops tighter before releasing them with a sigh.

Griff takes my hand, lacing his fingers in mine.

“Let’s do this. It’s your night, Jamie. I can feel it.”

Bumping his shoulder as we leave the tent, I kiss his cheek as we turn towards the back of the rodeo area. No matter what happens on the back of a bull, he’s right. It is my night.

I broke my usual routine tonight preparing to ride. Breaking a superstition should have me all kinds of messed up, but the truth is…I’m fine.

Griff and I chatted while he taped up his ankles and changed into his bullfighter gear of loose shorts and rodeo-brandedshirt. It was easy to just talk about nothing, and it felt like it was what I should have been doing all these years.

It wasn’t his assurance before every ride I needed, or his bull intuition. The longer we prepared alongside each other, the more it became glaringly obvious to me that it was simply his presence that settled me.

“So, what bull do you have tonight?”

“Um…Morphine Dream, I think.”

Griff pauses his stretches and raises an eyebrow. “You think?”

“No, I know. That’s the one.” Griff glances around before taking a few steps over to stand in front of me. “Jamie.”

Griff wastes no time calling me on my shit, and I kind of like it when he does that. He’s a very smart man. I knew that in university, and I know it now. Griff waits for me to let him in on why it’s a new routine tonight and why suddenly I’m not dragging him to look at a bull and tell me how it will ride. When I meet his gaze, he studies my face for what feels like hours when it’s barely been seconds.

“Okay.” He returns to his place and gives me a pass on not putting it into words. I’m sort of happy about that because I don’t really know how to explain it. Bursting into a sea shanty doesn’t seem like the right option, but I need to saysomethingso he doesn’t worry.

“When I was signing autographs tonight, I had this thought.” Griff continues his stretches, and I smirk when he bends over to grab his ankles and sticks his ass out. “I thought, what if I didn’t put so much pressure on you to soothe me…to boost me up before events and I just...” I rush on before he can assure me that’s not what all this was. “I loved knowing you’d be there for me, and I think I might have used it as a crutch. I know how to read a bull, Griff.” I suck in a breath. Then another. “Maybe it would be nice if I took that off your shoulders.”

Griff’s face remains unreadable, but his eyes…they really are a window to the soul. Pushing off the bench, my chaps swish with the few steps I take to reach him. “These shoulders.” I rub my hands over them and continue when I have his full attention. “They’ve carried more than enough, and I unintentionally added to that. I just want you to know that if you want to quit or walk away to take care of your dad or any other scenario I haven’t thought of yet, it’s okay. That’s why I changed my routine tonight.”

When Griff remains silent, I step back. “Please say something.”

He graces me with a smile, and the relief is like a glass of water on a hot day.

“I think I love you even more, and I didn’t know until now that was something I needed to hear from you, Jamie. I didn’t want to disappoint you—”

“You never could.”

“I thought I was staying because I was weak and couldn’t walk away from this. What we have here. That still may be partly true, but…hearing you tell me it’s okay to not be here is, fuck, it’s like a weight lifted.”

“Hey! You two need to get going. Bull riders start in fifteen!” A volunteer motions down towards the ring before jogging that way himself.

“Start a new tradition with me?”

Griff cocks his head. “Of course, but make it quick.”

Taking his face in my palms, I kiss him, taste him and hold him in place until his hands are on my chest, trying to find purchase onmy flak vest. When I pull away, Griff blinks, then laughs, a joyous sound from the bottom of his feet, before grabbing my hand and pulling me along the path to the ring.

He pauses at the gate to the ring and beams a bright smile.

“Hold on tight and do what you do best, Jamie.”

Then he disappears into the ring.

---