Page 30 of Bull Riders Don't Swoon

“Don’t steal the covers and I’ll be fine.” I joke.

It’s a lie though. Sharing a room is one thing, but a bed? Where I can feel his heat and smell all things Jamie, and not be able to do anything? Jesus fuck, this is a disaster.

He laughs as he squeezes my shoulder. “I can’t make any promises. You put the food in the fridge, and I’ll go grab the rest of our stuff.”

Jamieson disappears out the door, and I do as he suggested. Poking around the kitchen, it doesn’t seem like there’s much to cook with in here. A kettle and a small pot, along with a few plates and cutlery. Maybe the people who usually stay here eat in the main house too?

“Okay, this is the last of the stuff. Curtis said the Wi-Fi is good here and we should be able to use Netflix on the TV at a minimum.” He peels off his T-shirt and tosses it towards the bed. “I’m going to shower and probably just get some sleep, though. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, good idea. I’ll find that tape and plastic bags for my arm and do the same.”

Jamieson pops into the shower, and I cast a worried glance at the bed.

Jamieson was out like a light, lightly snoring, but in a way that always makes me smile. It’s not a window rattling snore but this little grumble, like a cat’s contented purr.

I laid awake on the edge of that damn bed so close I’d probably fall off if I ever fell asleep. The last few days have been…exhausting. My mind just won’t turn off.

The ache in my arm has settled, but the one in my heart has doubled in size over the last two days. Jamie taking care of me, even while I was at the hospital, jostled the feelings loose. The ones I thought I had covered well and locked away.

Everything was fine. Until it wasn’t.

The acceptance into the master’s psychology program that I ultimately declined. My dad drinking himself into an early grave while I watch, helpless to do anything but hope for a miracle. The torch I have for Jamie still burning bright against all my attempts to extinguish it.

Everything has washed to the surface like debris on the shore after a potent storm.

My life feels out of control, all because my heart wants someone who doesn’t feel the same.

Jamieson twitches in his sleep, and I turn my head on my pillow towards him. He’s still handsome when he sleeps with his mouth hanging open and that purring snore. His long body finally at rest and splayed over three-quarters of the king-sized bed.

It would be so easy to shuffle closer and have a part of him touch me while he sleeps. I could pretend he’s mine.

Or I could make a fucking decision like I originally planned and get on with my life. Accept the admission and forget about my dad, and just do one thing for myself that doesn’t make me hurt.

With a sigh, I adjust my arm across my chest and attempt to get some sleep.

ten

Jamieson

“This has to be one of the cutest towns I’ve ever visited. Don’t you think, Griff?”

He’s still eating candy from the cool retro candy store we found earlier. I think that’s all he needs to make this trip a success. Unlimited penny candy in a brown paper bag. It definitely made him smile more today.

The dark circles under his eyes concern me. I don’t want to pry and be all up in his face like a mother hen, but I’m positive his arm hurts more than he’s letting on.

“It’s definitely cute. I really want to try that burger place we saw earlier for supper, but I don’t know if I have room for food. I ate a lot of candy today.”

Griff frowns into the tiny brown paper bag, and I peek over his shoulder. “You ate the whole thing?”

He clutches the mostly empty bag to his chest with a half-laugh.

“Don’t be so judgy! You ate that giant cookie from the bakeryandcandy.”

“This is true.” I laugh. “But I’m still a bottomless pit, remember?”

We amble along the sidewalk again. The crowds from the Pride celebrations show no signs of slowing down, and I tug at Griff to stop at a face painting booth.

“There’s nobody in line now. Let’s do it.”

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