Page 52 of Bull Riders Don't Swoon

Griff stirs and I hold my breath, hoping he remains asleep. We both need to wake up and get moving, but if Griff could just sleep for another twenty minutes…

“Jamie? What time is it?”

His voice is thick with sleep, and his uncast arm moves to rub at his eyes. Crossing to the bed in a few steps, I sit on the edge and brush the hair from his forehead.

“It’s just after 5 A.M. You should sleep a little longer.”

“Can you join me?”

Even though my mind races with all the things I need to do and the long day ahead, those blue eyes draw me like a magnet. I can’t look away, and I can’t say no.

“Yeah. That sounds like a great idea.”

Pushing off the bed, I strip out of my shirt and jeans and slide back next to his warm body. Griff resumes his position on my chest and throws his leg over mine, his cast arm resting on my abdomen.

My fingers dust up and down his spine as he presses against me and for a moment, I consider calling the front desk so we can stay here one more night and forget about the world. That would mean I’d also delay setting things right and I don’t want to do that any longer.

“I’m sorry, Griff.” The words, so long overdue, fall off my tongue before I can overthink them. “I’ve not been a very good friend to you, and I’m sorry.”

He says nothing, but his fingertips trace random patterns on my stomach and he presses a kiss to my chest.

“It’s not your fault, Jamie. I should’ve trusted you more and leaned on you.”

“No, Griff. Don’t you dare take any of the responsibility. You’ve been nothing but generous with your time and comfort to me all these years, and I feel like I let you down. I should’ve been asking the questions.” With a fingertip, I tilt his chin back to meet his eyes. Those eyes are so full of love for me, it’s almost impossible for me to accept. “I should’ve asked how your dad was and pressed for details. I should have asked if you needed me to go with you. That’s just the start of things I should’ve done for you.”

Griff’s throat bobs, and he pushes until our faces are even on the pillow and his hand comes up to cup my face. His cast scratches my stubble, and he can’t lay it flat against my cheek, but he rubs his thumb across my lips.

“Aren’t we a pair? You begging for forgiveness, and me begging to be responsible for things you didn’t do.” He leans in to press a sweet kiss to my lips. “I forgive you, Jamie. Because I love you harder than anything that’s ever come into my life. Maybe that makes me pathetic to forgive you so easily, but I can’t stand the thought of you feeling like you let me down. Just knowing you were there was all I wanted.”

His fingers drag over my tattoo and follow the outline of his initials. “You were there last night for me when I was on the edge of a breakdown. You came through for me. That wasn’t just about sex.”

“You’re right. It wasn’t. I wanted it, but I wanted you to know you’re invaluable to me. More than anything, I needed you to know that. You’ve been there for me, Griff. For every single thing, and I’ve never acknowledged that. All I could think of was that, selfishly, if I had you around, it was all I needed.”

Griff shakes his head and presses a finger to my lips.

“Don’t. That’s what love is, Jamie. I’ve loved you since that first tutoring session where you needed to learn the periodic table and couldn’t accept that there was an element named Germanium.”

Even now, all these years later, I snort a laugh at the memory. “I still maintain it’s a plant my grandparents had and not an element.” We lost a lot of study time that day because I was convinced it was the name of the red flowers my grandfather loved. I was wrong, but we took an unplanned field trip to the local garden centre for Griff to prove to me the plant was a geranium.

Honestly, close enough on a test for me.

Griff’s face softens again. “I loved you and I wanted you to be happy. If me not sharing my problems in detail with you kept you happy, I did it willingly. I chose to not come to you just as much as you chose to be happy just keeping me around.” Griff smiles sadly. “We both could have used a course in communication or something.”

I suppose what he’s saying makes sense, but I don’t have to like it. I don’t want him to do something without support ever again.

“Can I come with you next time?”

His brow scrunches, and I smooth my fingertip over it.

“Where?”

“To meet your dad. To help and support you when you could use someone.”

Griff closes his eyes for a few beats. “I’d like that a lot, but—”

“Please, no buts, Griff. We’re in this together, and I know things have to change. I want to do that for youandfor me.”

He’s silent for a few moments, more pensive than I’ve ever seen him.

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