Page 19 of Bull Riders Don't Swoon

Carrot barks once in protest and after snuffling all over me and getting more ear scratches, thumps herself down on the porch with a groan.

“The security system is satisfied now. Come on.”

Following Jackson inside Hunter’s place, my jaw drops. “Jackson, what’s going on in here?”

Boxes line the hallway and there’s some stacked in the living room. The familiar pictures on the walls are gone, leaving the holes and faded paint where they once were.

“Ah…it’s not my place to say, but he’s making some changes.”

Jackson moves to the fridge and pulls out a giant bowl. After gathering us smaller bowls, he fills them with soup and pops them in the microwave.

“Tell me about your season so far. You’re doingwell?”

Nodding, I watch as Jackson moves around Hunter’s kitchen, fixing us a late afternoon snack.

“Yeah, I am. I could do better, I think. The last rodeo I drew a bull that was kind of shitty, and they didn’t let me re-ride. Griff was so pissed.”

“How’re things with the two of you?”

Jackson places a box of crackers on the table and a glass of iced tea for us both before returning to the microwave.

“We’re good. It’s weird for both of us not having you and Hunter around, but we’re doing okay. We’re talking about a sort of vacation after the next rodeo. You remember the place we got tattoos?”

Jackson nods as he sets a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup in front of me. “Yeah, I do. Little town close to the Manitoba border. Bloomburg, was it? Hunter’s ex lives there.”

“Yeah, that’s the place. I’ve never been a tourist in Ontario, and Griff hasn’t either, so we’re doing a buddies’ trip thing.” Taking a spoonful of soup, Jackson smiles.

“That sounds like fun. I think Riley and I should go away for a while. I just don’t know where yet. My mom and dad said they’d come and watch the dogs for us. I just need to plan it.”

“Downtime is important. You both have so much going on. I’d hate to see either of you burn out.”

“Nah. We’re good that way. We make sure we have down days. Which are currently Mondays. No work for either of us, and we take the dogs somewhere. Last week, we went further up the mountains to a path I’d not been to since I was a kid. You should have seen it, Jamieson. It was a breathtaking view and Riley didn’t even know it existed.”

Jackson keeps gushing over the hike, Riley, and his dogs. Happiness seeps from his pores as he talks. He was happy enough when we were touring together, but this kind of happy? It’s different.

“I’m really glad it’s all going well for you, man. It’s like you found your place or something.”

Jackson’s spoon scrapes the bottom of his bowl, and he swallows his last mouthful.

“I’ve found peace, I think. Like…rodeo helped me be me. I met Riley because of that and now…” Jackson bites his lip while he pushes a crumb around the table. “I’ve just found a new reason to live. With the dogs. All of it. I’m just super happy, Jamieson.”

I know he is, and I’ll admit I’m jealous. He has everything he ever wanted, and it couldn’t have happened to a better person, but a part of me wants that feeling, too.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Now tell me about this trip you’re planning with Griff.”

Jackson moves around the kitchen cleaning up our mess, and I help as best I can. Hunter can be particular about things, so I let Jackson make sure it’s all set. He stuffs a piece of cheese in his shirt pocket as we’re ready to go back outside and pats it.

“Carrot’s reward for being a good girl.”

“You spoil those dogs, don’t you?” I say with a laugh, and Jackson laughs back.

“I don’t even try to hide it.”

Outside, Carrot pops up when she sees us, and Jackson dutifully offers her the cheese, and my chest tightens. I thought maybe he’d wax poetic about missing rodeo or maybe even be prying me fordetails about guys on the tour. Instead, he’s just…content with his decision.

As we head back to the barn and I help him move more of the equipment around, I wonder if I’ll ever have the contentment Jackson has.

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