Page 67 of Breaking Rules

Hugging her tight, I hide my face in her hair and inhale her sweet scent. Coconut and strawberry, and something stronger that makes me a little dizzy. An overwhelming wave of warmth crashes into me and seeps into my bones.

She’s here because she trusts me to keep her safe.

CHAPTER22

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR BITCH

BELLA

October

My racing thoughtskept me up all night. I’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours, and now that it’s light in Xander’s guest room, I prop myself on my elbow and grab my phone. It’s still in airplane mode.

Before I turned it off, I gave Meg a heads-up and texted Ben and told him to email me if he needed anything. Because they’re incredible friends, they were supportive. They offered to help in any way they could, though neither one liked that I wouldn’t tell them where I was. Thankfully, they eventually let it go.

I lie back and take a deep breath. Everything’s going to be fine. I did the right thing. After all I’ve been through with Jake, I need to take this step back and reevaluate.

All night, anxiety plagued me. He won’t react well when I break the news to him, but I can do it. I’ve been through much worse.

I should’ve brought more of my things, but I was afraid he’d come home any minute, and I wasn’t sure Xander would let me stay. Hiding may be childish, but I can’t risk confronting Jake until I’ve figured out how to break up with him for good.

Despite the concerns I can’t shake, I feel secure here. Xander has a way of doing that, but I fear it may be causing a whole new host of issues. Because I like him. A lot. Way more than I should like a friend.

Telling him about my parents was easier than I thought it would be. I should’ve guessed, knowing how safe I feel with him. It’s as if nothing can hurt me when he’s around, like I can be myself without judgment.

After the run-in with my mom, my emotions threatened to boil over. Turns out anger and disappointment only fueled my determination. I left the house without a word, leaving it to Jake to explain my disappearance. I have no doubt he came up with some bullshit story in which he doesn’t look like the bad guy.

The fifteen minutes I spent in my mother’s presence brought up all kinds of memories I’d suppressed. I can’t remember ever feeling like my mother actually loved me. According to Aunt Millie, my parents were happy together and thrilled when I was born, but when my dad died, my mom became a different person.

After that, she scolded me for every slight misstep. All I wanted was for her to love me, to be there for me when I needed her, but she never was. After she met Kevin, she paid even less attention to me.

Years later, I still feel like a burden, an inconvenience to those around me, useless and weak. I’d give anything to go back and change things?—

A sniffing sound on the other side of the door cuts through my thoughts. Instantly, my heart lifts. Smiling, I throw the blanket aside, but before I can stand, hurried steps stop me.

“I told you I’m taking you for a walk,” Xander says. “Let Bella sleep, buddy.”

I grin at the way he speaks to his dog. His affection is clear in every word.

A moment later, the front door closes, and I haul myself out of bed, pulling on a pair of blue shorts and a white tee.

Last night, Xander insisted he didn’t need anything from me, but I want to repay his kindness. Surely he won’t mind if I make breakfast, right?

In the kitchen, I find he already started the coffee, so while I wait for it to brew, I search the pantry for what I need.

* * *

“What doyou want to watch next?” I ask a shirtless Xander, who’s sitting beside me on the couch.

Since breakfast—blueberry pancakes, which he loved—he hasn’t left my side, save for taking a call from his mom. We’ve spent hours talking, laughing, and watching Netflix, and what blows my mind is that he acts like he’s enjoying my company. Hewantsto be here with me.

“Whatever you want.” He pops a cherry tomato into his mouth and winks. “I’ll watch whatever you want.”

“Be careful, or you may sentence yourself to an anime marathon.”

He lifts a shoulder, unbothered. “Cool. I like anime.”

Laughing, I swat his chest. The craziest kind of heat flows through my veins the second my fingers brush his bare skin. “Liar. You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

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