Page 66 of Breaking Rules

“Mine?” Finally, she peers at me, the anguish in her eyes making her irises a stormy blue.

I hold my breath, gaze trained on her, cataloging every detail of her expression, the pain roiling in her eyes. I pinch the skin between my thumb and forefinger, an itch forming in my limbs. I need to get up, move, do something, because I have a feeling what I’m about to hear will send me spiraling.

“When I was seventeen, I came home from a party. Kevin came into my room while I was getting ready for bed. He…” She takes a deep, shaky breath.

My vision blurs, and a flashback hits me: a bloody scene. I shut my eyes tight. When all I see are black dots, I let myself open them again. My muscles and veins strain against my skin. It’s like I’m reliving my old nightmare…even though Bella’s circumstances are totally different.

“He was drunk and pissed off because my mother had berated him for something she didn’t like. He said he wanted to punish her. I guess he thought the best way to do that was by using me.”

She blinks at me, her face drawn. All I can do is squeeze her hand to let her know I’m here.

When she clears her throat and straightens her spine, I know she’s about to break my heart. “He decided…the best way to get back at her was by forcing himself on her daughter. My stepfather raped me. I only told one person, and when I told her, sh-she didn’t believe me.” Every word is quieter than the last, as though they’re hard to get out. “My own mother called me a pathetic liar. She said a man like Kevin would never look at me…let alone touch me. My stepfather is a rapist, and no one knows.” Her voice cracks at the end, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.

I’m speechless at first, the pounding in my ears too intense to talk over. Pure rage courses through me. Her fucking mother and stepfather don’t deserve to even breathe the same air as her. They should rot in hell, without any chance at redemption.

“Bella…” When I finally find my voice, it’s hoarse. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. No one should ever experience something like that. I understand why you want to stay away from them.” I clear my throat. “You didn’t tell anyone else? Your aunt? Your cousin?”

“I told you, this story has two sides.Hisis completely different.” She bows her head again and picks at an invisible piece of lint on her skirt. “I stayed at my aunt’s as often as I could. I only went home when I was certain my mother would be there too. None of it mattered. It didn’t stop him. It was killing me, Xander. I was living a nightmare. He once said he was teaching me how to please a man, that I should be thankful for him…for all his lessons. He told me if I ever told a soul, he’d say I was the one who seduced him. It didn’t stop until I left for college.”

“What a sick fuck. I want to beat the hell out of him for everything he put you through.” Teeth gritted, I release her hand. My rage is so strong, it takes everything I have not to get in the car, drive over to Miller’s parents’ place, and kick her stepfather’s teeth in.

Instead, I get up and pace, hands trembling and anger flowing through me. When I stop, I realize I also have tears in my eyes. I rush back to the couch and drop to my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

“You’ve endured so much. You deserve nothing but happiness and love, maybe more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

She gives me a sad smile. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

My heart clenches. “You’re wrong.” I inch closer and press my palm to her cheek.

She leans into my touch, sighing deeply.

“Your mother thinks you aren’t good enough for Miller? Truth be told, he isn’t good enough for you.”

“Xander.” A lone tear rolls down her cheek.

“Since the day I met you, I’ve been asking myself: What is a girl like her doing with Jake Miller? You’re stunning and kind, and despite all the shit you’ve been through, your soul is pure.” I brush my fingers down her jaw and gently cuff the nape of her neck. “You’re amazing, and it fucking pains me that you don’t see it. You deserve so much more than Miller could ever give you.”

Eyes glistening with tears, she smiles faintly. “I told him I needed a break.”

My heart stutters. “You broke up with him?”

“Not yet. I told him I needed to think. Really, though, I need time to find an apartment.” She swipes her tongue along her bottom lip. “That’s why I came here. He won’t think to look for me at your place. If I went to Meg’s, or my aunt’s, he’d be on the porch tomorrow, demanding I talk to him. I don’t want that. I’m never going back to him.”

I pinch my eyebrows together. “Why do you?—”

I scrutinize her quietly, my fingers rapping on my thigh. There’s a question burning on the tip of my tongue, and the longer I keep it to myself, the hotter it turns my blood. So, I force it out.

“Are you afraid of him? Is that why you don’t want him to know where you are?”

Her gaze flickers to me then darts away. “It’s complicated.”

“There’s nothing complicated about this. Yes or no, Bella? Are you afraid of him?”

“He’ll be angry when I break up with him. He recently started hinting about marriage…” She presses her trembling lips together. “But I’m afraid of who I am when he’s around. I’m?—”

I haul her to my chest and hold her close. “Don’t ever talk bad about yourself. You’re nothing but amazing, do you hear me?”

When I release her, she nods. I’ll take the win, regardless of how small it is, because changing how she talks about herself is one of the first steps to changing how she views herself.

---