Page 179 of Cruel Devotion

Jealousy rose within me.

I did my best to shove it back down.

“But life had other plans,” Her gaze drifted to the flickering candles near us. “My mother got sick with cancer. My father was deep into his gambling addiction and drinking all the time. I didn’t think he would do a good job, so against my mother’s adamant wishes. . .I decided to leave college to take care of her and my sisters. She was pissed and felt so guilty about it.”

“You’re a good daughter.”

“I just love hard, and when it comes to my family. . .I would do a lot for them.”

“Even sacrifice yourself?”

“Yeah. Good or bad, that’s who I am.”

“And the guy?”

“Once I was back home, we would talk on the phone all the time, but then. . .my life became a whirlwind of hospital visits and responsibilities.” Her voice wavered slightly. “Sometimes, I would forget to call him or. . .I was too sad to call. . .”

“And that was that?”

“Well, not completely. He came to my mother’s funeral.”

My heart broke for her. I hated that she had gone through so much.

She let out a long breath. “I was surprised to see him there.”

I leaned back in my chair. “Did you get to talk to him?”

“For a few minutes, I don’t even remember what I said, I was so. . .out of it. Like a zombie.” She shook her head. “After the funeral, I took my sisters back to our apartment and then. . .I got drunk off some cheap wine and at midnight I called him up to come outside. I told him. . .”

I quirked my brows. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him that I wanted him to fuck the pain away.”

I gritted my teeth, but made sure to not let searing jealousy show on my face. “I bet he sped over.”

“He actually did, ended up getting a speeding ticket. I offered to pay it. He refused.” She gazed at the soup. “Then. . .we hooked up in his car, and I’m not proud to say this but. . .”

“What?”

“I was so sloppy drunk and a complete depressed mess.”

“You had just buried your mother. That’s fine.”

“Well. . .as I told you. . .sex is one of my comforts.”

Under the table, I fisted my hands, wishing I could find this guy and beat the shit out of him. But I knew I couldn’t do that.At least the guy had been there for Monique when she needed someone and so far. . it sounded like he had been respectful.

Still, jealousy hit me with this guy and I shoved it away.

“After I was done, I just left the car and went back up to my apartment.” She picked up the spoon and sighed. “I didn’t even say goodbye or thanks.”

“Surely, your body was thanks enough.”

“Still, that was crazy rude.” She took a spoonful of soup but didn’t lift it up. “After that. . .he called all the time but I never answered.”

“The sex was bad?”

“No. My mind just wasn’t there.” She drank some of the soup and swallowed.

---