Page 180 of Cruel Devotion

I reached across the table and covered her hand with mine. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

She looked at me. “Thank you, Lei, but it’s just one of those things, you know? Sometimes life takes unexpected turns, and sometimes those turns are pretty damn depressing.”

“Now that I’m in your life, you won’t have to deal with stuff like that all alone, Monique.”

“Call me, Moni.” Her smile widened. “My family and people I’m really close to call me that.”

I tasted the new name on my tongue. “Moni.”

She winked. “Perfect.”

I returned to my soup.

To my surprise, she spoke, “So. . .were you in love with anyone else besides Chanel? Or. . .was it always her?”

I lifted my gaze and saw how uncomfortable those questions had been for her to say out loud. I took my time answering, still unsure if I could really voice all the new thoughts rising and spiraling in my mind. “After these days with you. . .it’s difficult to answer those questions.”

“Why?”

“Everyone has always made the case that Chanel never cared about me—my father, mother, Yan, Chen, Duck, and even Dima hinted in his way.” Sadness washed over me. “But I never believed them and I damn sure never cared about what they thought.”

“But now?”

“You may not believe me, but. . .”

“What, Lei?”

“After spending time with you, and feeling how intense. . .” I set the spoon back down. “What I’m trying to say is that whatever I had for Chanel. . .I’m starting to understand that it wasn’t love. Unfortunately. . .it might not have been anything.”

Moni blinked. “O-kay.”

I felt like a fucking loser, but if she was going to be in my life—and in such a high, intimate position—then it was time to truly open myself up to her and see if she could accept it all.

“Last night, I wondered if I saved my virginity for nothing.” I searched Moni’s face for a reaction but she kept it neutral. “And then. . .I realized that. . .your being my first was the whole reason why I saved it. Perhaps, God knew what I didn’t. He knew it would be everything with you. . .”

Because you’re the one. . .

I sat across the table from Moni with that profound realization spinning in my mind. And it wasn’t just a fleeting thought or a momentary feeling; it was a deep, resounding certainty that settled in my heart with the weight and warmth of something long-acknowledged yet only now fully understood.

Yes. She’s the one.

She cleared her throat. “I’m going to be your first?”

“Who else would it be?”

“Lei, you have a whole ass harem.”

I waved that away. “I can’t be intimate with them. Clothed or naked, they will always see me as the Mountain Master but you see me as Lei. Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“And I may be a virgin, but I do know this. . .there’s sex, and there’s making love. There’s fucking and then there’s truly being inside of someone. Spirits blending. Souls merging.”

Moni parted her lips.

“When my harem came to my bed, I came. It was always suitable orgasms.” I shrugged. “And don’t get me wrong, we did tons of dirty things.”

Moni leaned forward and whispered. “What dirty things?”

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