Page 102 of Tempt Me

“How much farther?” I asked as I saw the sign for the Marsh Road exit.

“Why?” Jackson glanced at me in the rearview mirror, his hands loose on the steering wheel. “Got somewhere better to be?”

“No, I just…” I didn’t finish the sentence when Jackson pulled off at the too-familiar exit. I pulled the seatbelt away from my breastbone. “Where exactly is this barbecue?”

“At a friend’s.”

“Jackson.” Alicia set a hand on his shoulder. “She should know.”

“But I promised.”

“What should I know?” I leaned forward into the gap between the front seats.

“No, no, no, no!” Val chortled.

“The barbecue is at Jamila’s,” my brother said. “It’s a pre-celebration of her product launch.”

“Dammit, Jackson!”

“Swear jar!” Noah said despite his headphones.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Valentine kicked her sneakers in her car seat between us.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Sorry. But why didn’t you tell me?”

“Are you not ready to see her?” My brother asked, stopping at a traffic light.

“I…I don’t know.” Especially not wearing a too-long pair of Alicia’s pre-pregnancy jeans that I’d rolled up at the ankles and her T-shirt that read, “You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.”

“If you’re not ready, we can drop you off somewhere and pick you up in a couple of hours,” Alicia said.

It sounded tempting, to hide out in a boutique or café and not have to face Jamila again, not to see the stony expression on her face and remember a time when her eyes sparkled with passion as she looked at me when we were casual, but it felt like a whole lot more.

Yesterday, I’d told my big brother I was a grown woman, and it was time for me to act like one. I could face her. I could be friendly. I could chat with her about her upcoming launch and be happy for her and proud of myself.

“It’s fine,” I said, staring out the window at the other modest homes on her street.

Jackson pulled up in the first available spot on her street, practically back at the stop sign. Mrs. González must love that cars were parked along both sides of the street. After Jackson freed Valentine from her car seat and unloaded practically an entire discount store’s worth of inflatable toys, we followed a set of pavers around the side of the house to the open gate in the wooden fence. We took the short path to the pool, and Val squirmed in my arms, pulling my hair until I looked at her. “Poo! Poo! Poo!”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s a nice pool. Want to go in?”

“Can you hold her for a second while we say hello?” Jackson asked. “I’ll get her into her suit in a minute.” When I nodded, he and Alicia made a beeline for Jamila, who stood at the far end of the pool with a familiar sun hat on her head and one of those insulated can holders in her hand.

When our eyes met across the backyard, her gaze scorched me to my bones.

I wasn’t ready.

Not yet. I’d just wrapped my head around the fact that I’d be seeing her today. I hadn’t prepared a plan or a script, especially not one to deal with her anger. How could I avoid humiliating myself when I remembered the last time she’d worn that hat and what had happened after? I could never forget and go back to who I was before. I’d promised myself I’d never fall back into the simpering persona I was at Billie’s party.

Noah dumped an armful of pool toys near the steps into the shallow end. He’d save me.

“Need some help?” I asked.

“With what?”

“I don’t know. Setting things up.”

“Nah. I’m all done.” He gestured at the haphazard pile of a swim vest, a unicorn floatie, a set of diving sticks, and a half-dozen pool noodles.

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