Page 61 of Our Hearts to Break

I respond to my mom withI love youand save the dreaded conversation with my dad for last.

“Do you mind if I call my dad?”

Nate sits on the bed and nods. “Go ahead.”

My hand shakes as I raise the phone to my ear. He answers on the first ring.

“What would possess you to do that in front of thousands of people?”

“Dad, calm down. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Well, it did… and now everyone knows you’re gay. The story is on every news channel. All over social media. They’re calling itthe kiss felt around the world.”

“Huh? What are they saying?”

He sighs. “You have a lot of support from fans. A lot of hate, too. Your new teammates are posting on Twitter… or X. Whatever the hell it’s called now.”

“And?”

“From what I read, it’s good. They’re supportive. I’m still worried for you, River. Now that people know?—”

“I’ll be fine, Dad.”

“I hope so,” he mutters. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. People are mean. They can do horrible things when they don’t understand… I love you, River. And I’m afraid for you.”

“I know,” I say, pacing across the room while Nate watches with a wary look. “But being gay isn’t as stigmatized as it was thirty years ago.”

“The NHL has not been welcoming of people like you. They banned specialty jerseys on the ice after players refused to wear Pride jerseys.”

“Yeah, but they allow Pride tape now. They reversed the ban.”

“I wouldn’t push it. Just keep your head down and play your best game.”

I sink to the mattress beside Nate, and he touches my knee for support. “What do we do about all the publicity?”

“Don’t accept any interviews until you talk to me. Okay?”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone. My personal life is none of their business.”

“I wish it were that simple… but it’s not. You have to be your best this season and the next. Don’t give the team a reason not to re-sign you.”

“Yeah, Dad. I will try.”

“I can only do so much on my end. If, for some reason, things don’t work out on Long Island, you can play for me. Just stay focused on what’s important.”

I chose the Islanders to create a legacy separate from his, and I don’t want my dad to bail me out. No matter what people say about me, I will play at the highest level possible, even if I have to push myself to the limit.

“Can we talk about this on my drive to Long Island?” I ask my dad. “I’m tired and need to look after Nate. He took a pretty bad hit tonight.”

“How’s Nate doing?”

“Hanging in there.”

He breathes into the phone. “Good. Tell him to stay off his feet and get some rest. Call me before you get to the arena.”

After I hang up, I toss the phone on the bed and curl up beside Nate. Regardless of what people say about me, this is my time with Nate—our final hours.

Nate lays on his unbruised side, an arm slung over me, nestling his nose in the crook of my neck. “I’m going to miss this. You and me. I took it for granted for so long.”

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