I look at Cedric. My heart is pounding, and my voice is low. “We have to convince Erik to let us conduct the autopsy. And I’m going to need anything you have on your parents’ deaths, Cedric.”
He doesn’t flinch, simply nodding. “I’ll have everything sent to you. There’s not a lot. Vivian’s father tried to bury most of the evidence, and he killed off two individuals who claimed to be witnesses to the kidnapping.”
“What?” I gape at him. “Say that again.”
Cedric looks grim. “The reason I needed to make Vivian a political prisoner, and why I was so adamant that you become her substitute, was because my parents, along with Derrick’s, were visiting the Eastern Kingdom when they were kidnapped and tortured. Vivian’s family used the opportunity to try to gain control of the North. Even when they failed, they refused to let me investigate the murders. I always suspected Vivian’s father knew a lot more than he was letting on.”
I am shocked by his words. “What? Wait, are you saying he was involved in—”
“We don’t know for sure. But a lot of evidence was buried and disappeared. The few witnesses we had managed to find were killed off by the king.”
A lot of pieces I never knew existed are falling into place now, including Cedric’s initial hostility toward me when he brought me to the North. “Hold on. You invaded the Eastern Kingdom. And then you gave the ruling power to Vivian’s uncle. Why not just control the East in its entirety and investigate the murders?”
Cedric closes the file in front of us. “Balance. There is a delicate balance within and among all three kingdoms. This balance maintains the existence of the Veil. All three royal families need to remain in power for this very reason. Wars can be fought, kingdoms can be toppled, but the ruling family has to be of the same royal blood of that land. This is something only the royal families are aware of. Which is why, despite our show of power, ultimately it is Vivian’s family who has to rule the East. And they can stop us from investigating. But as long as we have Vivian, either as a political prisoner or queen, they won’t interfere, because she is beloved in her country. Tying her to me as my mate was simply a way to keep the royal bloodline strong. That was my intention when I invaded the Eastern palace. How was I to know that you would be the one waiting for me there?” He gives me a faint smile. “I could say that the Goddess blessed both me and my kingdom when you became our queen.”
I flush. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He sighs. “I won’t claim to be a good king, Leanna,” he finally says, slowly. “I could either protect my people or help the economy. Before my father met my mother and discovered that they were fated mates, he was betrothed to a woman who would have looked after the kingdom while he fought at the border, like his parents before him. But my mother was of warrior blood, like him, and she was not interested in looking after the people of the North. She preferred to fight on the front lines.”
I’ve never heard Cedric talk about his parents, and I find myself fascinated as he opens up to me about his past. “So, the kingdom has been neglected since your parents mated?”
“More or less,” he admits. “My mother did try, but she was a warrior. I always told myself that I would bring in a queen who would look after my people while I focused on protecting the border and the Veil. When I went after the Eastern Kingdom, I didn’t intend to take Vivian as my queen. I had planned to take her as a political prisoner. But when I entered that room, you were the one standing there, and you were my fated mate. I changed my plan.”
Reeling at his words, I wrap my hand around his arm, my nails digging in. “Wait. Hold up. Are you saying I wasn’t a substitute for Vivian?”
His eyes meet mine. “No. You were never a substitute.”
Chapter 22
Leanna Avery
“Not in the way you thought or I implied in the beginning.” I see the shame in his eyes. “I admit I said some things, but the idea of having a fated mate wasn’t to my liking. However, the practicality of gaining a mate was also something I couldn’t ignore. Your existence was convenient, but you were not a substitute.”
My hands start to tremble, and I clasp them together in my lap. “I should be insulted by your calling me convenient.”
“That’s not how I meant it,” he says quickly.
“Yeah, I get it.” My smile is weak and strained. “All that time, in the beginning, when you said such cruel things to me—”
“My parents were fated mates, Leanna. The woman my father discarded for my mother happened to be a close friend of my mother’s. Her life was ruined, and my parents never cared. They claimed the strength of the fated mate bond was all that mattered. I found it despicable.”
“How cruel,” I murmur without thinking.
My hand slaps over my mouth almost immediately, but when I look at Cedric, he doesn’t disagree. “I loved my parents, but you’re right, they were not the best people. I realized that as I grew up. The idea of being tied down with a fated mate bond was abhorrent to me. I tried to stay away from you, but you made it so hard. You needed to be taken care of. You were so fragile and stubborn. And the smallest things made you happy. I just wanted to look after you. It wasn’t the bond that drew me to you but you, Leanna.”
My eyes feel wet as I stare at the ground, my voice choked. “Oh.” Suddenly so much of his behavior makes sense. “Why—Why are you telling me this now?”
“It never really came up before. I didn’t realize how much my words hurt you, or the impact they left on you. I am sorry for that. For letting my anger affect you.”
I nod, a jerky movement, the apology meaning more to me than anything. This is the first time anyone has apologized to me for anything that happened back then, but I can’t expect Cedric to understand that. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around his neck.
When he goes still, I murmur, “Thank you for apologizing.”
His arms come around me.
“And for loving me like you do.” The words are torn from me, and I realize that I mean them. Despite everything—my own anger, my lashing out at him—Cedric has stood firm. He could have walked away. He could have done a lot of things, but he stayed. If this had only been about Finn, he could’ve taken our son and left. There was nothing I would have been able to do about it. But he didn’t.
I know how to love now, but Cedric is the only person who has ever shown me what it is like to be loved like this.