Page 112 of Silver Secrets

She couldn’t take it any more. Her hands grabbed the edge of the comforter and she pulled it up over her head, letting the warmth sink into her. That was another thing she hadn’t been able to shake since that night. The overwhelming feeling of cold. Even with Gage in the bed, with the heating pad and being covered in his sweatpants and giant socks and a sweatshirt the size of Texas, she still didn’t truly feel warm.

Her eyes closed, but her mind kept her right there in the bedroom. And as hard as she tried to ignore him, she heard the second Gage walk into the room and stopped at the foot of the bed.

“Sloane? I might only be able to see the ends of your beautiful red hair, but I can hear your breathing. Come on, Beautiful. I know you’re awake under there. It’s time to get out of bed.”

“No.”

Her warm and cozy cocoon was ripped away; her skin pebbled as the comforter slid off her body.

“Gage! I said no. I’m not getting out of bed.”

“I’m sorry, Red. But you are. I won’t let you lay here and wither away in front of my eyes. I won’t. I thought soft love was what you needed, but I can see you’re going to be stubborn. Which I love, by the way, because now I know you’ve still got that spark inside of you. So tough love it is, baby. I’m going to run you a bath and when you’re done getting cleaned up, I’m going to feed you some food and we are going outside. Even if it’s just for five minutes, you’re going to feel the sun on your face. You’re going to see that the days have kept going on, and so can you.”

“Just leave me alone,” she begged. “I’m serious, Gage. Leave me to rot away. Leave me in the hell that my mind wants me to suffocate in.”

“I can’t do that, Red.” A tear dropped from his eye and sliced through her soul. She was hurting him. Always hurting him. “I can’t leave you in hell alone. I’ve been there before, all on my own. And I know you have, too. But we aren’t alone now. We don’t have to get through this on our own. I’ll walk into your hell and drag you out, Sloane. You can kick, and scream, and curse my name the whole time, but I won’t let you stay there, all alone.”

“You don’t understand.” She choked on the words. Of course he did. He was the only one who understood exactly what she went through. But he was fine. And she was a mess. It wasn’t fair to him. “It hurts more.”

“What does?” His studious frown turned to a gentle smile as he reached out towards her. “Let me see your hip?—”

“No,” she cried, not wanting to think about the jagged scar that was healing when the rest of her couldn’t. “Not that. It hurts watching you be able to get up. To function. To talk to our friends.” She gestured wildly at the door and watched as guilt took away the dimples in Gage’s incredible smile and replaced them with worry lines. “To wake up each day like nothing happened. Like you’re just being dragged down by me. This is eating me alive, Gage. And you’re just ready to move past it.”

“Sloane.” She sat up, flinging her legs over the edge of the bed and pushing herself up. It was the wrong call. The room immediately tipped and distorted as she blinked trying to push the black dots out of her vision. Gage was there, right by her side, holding onto her waist to steady her.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered, hating the way the words ripped Gage apart right in front of her.

“I have to make sure you’re good on your feet. You haven’t been eating or drinking how you should be. If you’re dizzy…”

Her body softened and swayed towards him. But he didn’t reach out. His hands just hovered midway in the air, ready to catch her if she was going to fall. Because that’s who Gage was. He was always going to be there to catch her.

“Where are my things?”

“I can grab you a change of clothes after I get you situated in the bathroom.”

“That’s not what I mean. Did you pack them up like I asked?”

“No.”

“Gage. Please. I shouldn’t have stayed here this long. I shouldn’t have taken up your space like this.”

“This isn’t just my space. It’s yours too. This is your home.”

“No it’s not. My home is a crime scene. My home is covered in police tape. My home is where I killed someone. I took her life, Gage. It’s everything I am fundamentally against deep down in my core.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that for me. It was my job to save you. You should never have had?—”

“Stop! I don’t regret that my actions saved you. Not one single second of seeing the light drain out of her eyes. Not hearing her last breath. Not watching her sink down against the wall, leaving blood smeared all over my cinder blocks. I don’t regret taking her life to save ours. And that’s the part I don’t think I can live with.”

Sloane collapsed down onto the floor, her legs folding up to rest against her chest while her arms wrapped around her knees. She tucked her head into her arms and let the fire behind her eyes consume her. She wasn’t even sure how she had any tears left at that point. Gage was right. She hadn’t been eating or drinking. Her body felt like it had nothing more to give.

“Red, please.” The strain of emotion in his voice made the tears fall even harder. He didn’t try to hold her. He didn’t try to touch her. After a few minutes, she knew he left the room. And she cried harder. That had to be why she felt so empty inside. He’d finally listened to her. The absence of Gage was making everything hurt more. But she’d done that. She’d pushed him away.

Everything was still so fucking cold. Which is why, when warmth seeped into her side and down her leg, she lifted her tear stained face in confusion. He hadn’t actually left. His body pressed into hers, offering her a part of his strength.

“I’ve been talking to Sebastian,” he whispered.

Failing again, Sloane. You owe money for your business. The business that you might as well not return to. Failure. Failure. Failure.

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