Page 113 of Silver Secrets

“Oh god. The office rent was due last week.” She wiped the wetness from her face onto the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing. Would Gage let her take it when she moved out? Even though she’d been in it for days, it still smelled like him.

“Not about that. He doesn’t care about the money, Sloane. He wants to make sure you’re okay. Everyone is worried…”

“I need to get my laptop from downstairs. Or, where’s my phone? I’ll transfer him the money.”

“Stop. You can figure that all out later. I know you didn’t officially move in here. It was the only option at the time. I want you to stay, but if it’s too much, there is an apartment up on the same floor as Gunner and Lily. Mae and Hawk are obviously up there too, so you’d have the girls around. I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here and fight through this with me. But I can’t make that choice for you. That apartment is there if you think it will be the best thing right now.”

“And my house?”

“I’ve been looking at different crews to come in and clean it up. It’s still a crime scene under the FBI, and Kimi is working through getting it released back to you, but it’s a process. Once they clear it, a company can box all of your stuff up and bring it here, or we can put it in storage. You don’t have to make a decision now, but you could sell it.”

Sloane shook her head. “No. I want it knocked down. I don’t want it to exist anymore.”

“We can do that, too.”

She nodded, brushing her matted hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’ll take Sebastian up on the apartment.”

“Okay.” Gage closed his eyes for a second before bending over to press a kiss into her hair. “I’m going to run you a bath. Give me just a few minutes and I’ll be back.” Something about that action, the tenderness, the understanding, the way he didn’t argue to keep her there with him, shattered the last little hold on sanity she had.

“Ready?” he asked, his hand outstretched. How long had she been staring at her feet?

“I can’t.”

“That’s okay. I’ve got you.” Before she could reply, Gage had her body up in his arms. Every muscle in her tensed, hating the way she was reacting to his touch. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He was only trying to help.

She closed her eyes, the movement towards the bathroom giving her a heavy dose of motion sickness. He lowered her down, the sound of rushing water and the heat of the steam rising from the bath caressing her skin.

“We have to get these clothes off you, Red.”

“I can’t,” she choked out. God, it was so embarrassing. How many days had she been in the same sweatshirt and shorts? Gage had done the exact same routine with her before, but she couldn’t remember how much time had passed in between. What she wouldn’t give to have enough strength to lift her arms over her head. To bend over without worrying about collapsing to the ground. But she just couldn’t do it.

He nodded. “I’ve got this, too.”

Slowly, with his eyes trained on hers, Gage peeled away the clothes she’d been wearing for far too many days. Shame burned across her face as she watched him turn to the tub and stop the water.

“What are you doing?” she asked as he scooped her up, stepping into the tub with her, still dressed in his shorts and t-shirt.

“I’m not going to ask you any more, Sloane. I know you don’t have the strength to do these things right now. So I’m going to do them for you. We’re going to wash your hair, and your body, and then we’re just going to rest. One thing at a time. Little by little. I can be the strength for both of us until you feel better.”

“What if I never feel better, Gage?” she asked as he lowered both of their bodies into the water. The warmth overwhelmed her, shocking her system. Fat tears, from the bottom of her soul, rolled down her face as she shifted back, clinging to Gage’s shirt like it was her only lifeline.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. You’ll have my strength forever if you need it. But I know you, Sloane. One day, you’re going to wake up and see the other side of things. The side where what you did was incredibly brave. The side where you are a hero in my eyes. The side where you’re able to put one foot in front of the other and live life again.”

Thirty

Her sobs washed over Gage like a hurricane. He was so fucking lost. All the training he’d had as a SEAL helped him compartmentalize what had happened to them. There was no way he could access what they experienced yet, but one day soon he would sit down with a therapist and work through it all. Just like he had when he lost Melody and Mikey.

Hearing Sloane fall apart over and over again, day after day, and not being able to reach her scared the hell out of him. He’d tried to have their friends give support, but she’d pushed them all away. So he just sat with her, waiting for the moment when her eyes would open and he’d see just a glimpse, even the tiniest sliver, of the Sloane who was there before.

“Is this okay? Are you warm enough?” His hands cupped water from the bath and dripped it over her shoulders, watching the droplets run down her skin in tiny rivulets.

“I-I’m fine.” Her voice was hoarse, and he reminded himself to make sure she was drinking enough. She’d been dizzy when she stood before the bath, just another sign that he was failing to take care of her.

Sloane’s head turned and suddenly there was a large splash as her hand jerked out of the water. In a flash, she was gripping onto his arm with such force he almost winced at the tight hold.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where is it!?” Her wide eyes were filled with panic, but he didn’t understand why.

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